Everything Jenelle

Yay! Teen Mom 2 is in its 4th (and maybe last) season!
I have been posting on my facebook for a few weeks now with Jenelle Evans updates that I was receiving via her twitter feed. This broad REALLY loves twitter. Her life is total chaos and I really enjoy reading about it! Well, apparently, MTV was filming the whole thing and hopefully none of it ever sees the cutting room floor! Here's a brief synopsis of what has been going on...

Gary, Jenelle, and Kieffer

In real life (and hopefully in the show) Jenelle dates Gary Head and eventually gets engaged to him. At some point, he chased Keiffer around a courthouse (allegedly) and they were asked to leave the premises. She eventually filed abuse charges on Gary. Jenelle then began dating Courtland Rogers. She gave him a ride to court for his felony charges. They took a wrong turn and somehow ended up with a marriage license. Whaaaat? Jenelle then announced to twitter that she has a little message for her new husbands old girl (and the mother of his child): Fuck you Taylor! He's MY husband. You just have his baby. GTFO!Courtland publicly tweeted Taylor something about their child and Jenelle immediately notified all of her twitter followers that they were divorcing because he is sneaky! Courtland then asked the world -"Why does everyone think we're getting a divorce? I love my wife!" 

He tattooed his wife's name... Class

All of two days go by and suddenly Courtland took to twitter to announce: Jenelle does heroin! Jenelle hopped on twitter to say- WERE GETTING A DIVORCE. (She also apologized for antagonizing his baby-momma). Courtland apologized to Gary Head (who apparently warned him that she is totally and completely nuts). For some reason, Kieffer decided this was a great time to tweet Jenelle and ask to buy her dog... Jenelles ex-boss, Duffy, tweeted some old nude photos of Jenelle. No one really cared. Next he tweeted photos of her with her stitches after breast implant surgery. No one cared, but I barfed. Then, he posted a photo of what MIGHT have been Courtlands daughters sock. Now he's banned from twitter.  (Good for you, Twitter!) Jenelle updated us: Y'all I LOVE my husband. He's rapping on stickam tonight. Tune in. (They are forever on Stickam. They always look so doped up....) Then, she tweeted the biggest news (right after Courtland sold the story to US weekly) WERE PREGNANT! Oh, what will she do next?! It's all so riveting!  

One of Duffy's photos

While Jenelle was taking a "nap" (withdrawing during pregnancy?) her hubby decided he should go out clubbing. Rational. Responsible. I see why these people don't have custody. Upon waking and finding her knight in shining heroin missing, Jenelle tweeted again that she was divorcing Courtland. She made several accusations about drugs and maybe drug dealing. So, Courtland went home & MAYBE slapped Jenelle. Jenelle had someone on Facebook announce that she may be miscarrying. She said she'd tweet an update later. Meanwhile, in crazytown, Courtland got on stickam with some girl. They kissed. He claims it was okay because Jenelle wouldn't let him in the hospital, but Gary Head was allowed in her room.Somehow, Jenelle found an envelope. belonging to her husband, with girls names to look up on Facebook. The list was titled "DTF". So, naturally, Jenelle filed 6 counts of  criminal charges against Courtland for hitting her. Maybe. Also, for murdering their unborn child. Maybe. Courtland takes to twitter (of course) to tell us he never hit her, but he does admit that some random girl is 6 months pregnant for him. (Random girl tweets belly photo.) My head is spinning. I feel like I may spit-up pea soup any second.

Naturally, Jenelle  makes the only sensible choice. She moves in with ex fiancé, Gary, (the one who also hit her [allegedly, maybe]... remember?) and makes up with Courtlands baby's mom, Taylor. They have been tweeting up a storm ever since! (I love friendship!) Jenelle formally announced she officially had a miscarriage and is going home to play Xbox with Gary. (Was she really pregnant?) Courtland says they sold a bunch of bogus stories to magazines for thousands of dollars. Taylor (Courtland's baby's mom) tweeted she has incriminating secret surveillance tapes of Courtland doing drugs. Jenelle went shopping with Gary. Courtland checked into the hospital claiming he may kill himself because he can't live without her, hundreds of thousands of twitter followers asked "WHY?". Courtland gets out of the hospital and says he wants to go out clubbing with Jenelle and that she was on her way to meet him. Then, he said maybe that wasn't a good idea because she DID file those charges... Then, he said Aw fuck it! YOLO! I love her! Hope she gets here soon!

Nothing says romance like "Remote pic"

Gary posted a picture of himself and Jenelle holding a remote control (?) to prove that she is NOT going to meet Courtland. Jenelle got extensions. Courtland is currently tweeting that he is soooooo done with twitter. Then, he tweeted that he is driving two states over. Jenelle tweeted taht she doesnt care. Then, she said that if anyone catches Courtland he will be arrested for all of his abuse allegations. Courtland tweets that she lied and is ruining his life and he wishes he never married her. He thinks he ruined his life getting involved with her. (Epiphany!) 

Also, at some point during Valentines Day,  Gary may or may not have also sent his ex-girlfriend, Jade, flowers. Courtland teased Jenelle that Gary probably cheated on her. Then, he gave her another chance to go clubbing with him. He's all class! When she rebuffed his advances.. he said anyone who wanted to come meet him was welcome and named some club he wanted to go to. 

I really hope that all of this is on the show... but at some point, Jenelle told Courtland that he wouldn't be on Teen Mom. In all fairness, he told her that SHE won't be on Teen Mom for much longer. (There are MANY rumors claiming this is the last season of Teen Mom because Jenelle is fucking out of control!)



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