Teen Mom 2 Season 4 Episode 2

Pregnant? Whatever!

OHMIGAWD YALL! Chelsea is like FINALLY in hair school! She totally doesn't care what Adam thinks about it either, and she needs like... you know.. volunteers to do perms on! She MIGHT be pregnant, but probably not, but maybe, but totally not, and everything else is totally going great, basically, especially because she can wear leopard scarves to hair school!

Leah's 1st wedding

Leah's 2nd DREAM wedding

Leah admits she would leave her fiance for her ex-husband if he'd commit to being her boyfriend. (?) She and Jeremy (the fiance) discuss how in six months: they met, became engaged, tried for babies, lost a baby, and also considering getting back together with Corey (Leah's ex-husband). Leah says its all too fast and quotes Deirks Bentley, "I'll settle for a slow down". They are taking things slow because she's waiting for Corey. By the summer she and Jeremy are married and pregnant.

Ehh! How desperate are you?

Kailyn is the dumbest broad on the show. Easily. She's on her way to take Jo to court because he won't get back together with her. Her main legal complaint is that Jo's girlfriend was with him when they exchanged Isaac. Side note: Kailyn's boyfriend Javi is driving baby Isaac to daycare during the court preceding. Kill yourself. My favorite Kailyn quote of the episode came as she yelled in the car about why Jo's parents shouldn't be at the hearing:

"They were home, but they didnt see anything! I swear! I can swear on a BIBLE! Like.. I don't believe in God or anything, but I know ... like thats a BIG deal for them!" 

Kailyn sucks.  Her lawyer all but forfeits the case and files a restraining order on Kailyn.

The star of the show did not disappoint.
Jenelle is distracted thinking of Keiffer. No... she is thinking about Gary. No, she is thinking about Garys opinion of Keiffer -- who she would totally be back with if she weren't with Gary. Shes with Gary because he has a car and a job ...and she's on probation so she isn't technically ALLOWED around Keiffer. This all sounds pretty legit.

BARBARA bought a new house! Mazel Baaawbruh

Oh, Gary!

Gary is concerned about the Keiffer situation and does a little parenting over breakfast, while pointing a knife covered in grits at Jenelle.  He seems really stable. 

Gary's most ominous statement was "I'm really not worried. We have such a great relationship".  

Later, it comes to light that Gary and Jenelle's BFF Tori (the girl she beat up last season) had sex (after Jenelle introduced them) and then hid it for months (until Tori spilled the beans). The following phone conversation happened:

Here is the engagement ring Gary gave her.
Why does Gary get TWO rings? 

"I needed to hear your voice"

Eye roll from Jenelle. " We can't ever get married, Gary,  because I don't trust you." 

"So you mean to tell me if I proposed to you, you'd say no?" 

"Yeah, I'd say no!" 

Jenelle is still married to Courtland Rogers, who
is still on the run. He was last seen in Alabama.
I really hope he shows up in Louisiana! Fan photo?

Gary goes to Jenelle's house to pick up his things. She punches him, throws his stuff, breaks something of his (he shrieks in shock), and then she goes into her room and cries uncontrollably. 

Previews for next week show the return of Keiffer Delp. In real life, we know that Jenelle and Gary get engaged within weeks. Then, she presses assault charges on Gary, claiming he tried to kill her. She leaves to marry Courtland. Now, she and Gary are back together and she tweeted that she wishes they could get married. Side note, she's also in rehab right now. Again.