Where in the world is Jenelle Evans? updated

I didn't know Kieffer and Gary are friends. I wonder how they ever wound up chasing each other around a courthouse? Fair weather friends. Frienemies. Lyin' hustaluhs!

Updated: March 12, 2013


Jenelle is out of rehab again. She only needed those four days in rehab to kick her habit. It's really not a big deal guys. Calm down. It's just a little heroin.

When she got home, Courthouse did NOT have Brody (the dog) but he did have a new twitter account.... Dnaltruoc Sregor or @taylewis1993 ... the owner of the account explained that the account was Taylor's (Courthouse's babymomma), then Courtland's, then theirs. then his, and now hers again. Yes, you guessed it, four days was too long for his undying love to withstand. Courtland is back with his babymomma, 17 year old Taylor Lewis. Jenelle is no longer friends with either of them. For now.

Update: 1:00pm central, Taylor posted on Facebook that Courtland is MIA MYA. I am beginning to understand why she makes awful decisions. She is getting encouragement and advice from complete morons. Please note the following conversation. My head was spinning doing the math. Leah Messer Calvert, is that you? Nope. Can't be. Corey would never stay away from his children. Neither would Jeremy. Leah picks great guys. Those same great guys just happen to have poor taste in women....

Sorry Jenelle.
Kieffuh has a new Queefuh

Gary Head, Gay Advocate

Gary Head, aka North Carolina Corn, continues to pine for ex-girlfriend and current co-worker, Jade. Jade continues to rebuff his advances and refuses to engage in twitter wars with anyone. I continue to respect Jade. For now.

Jenelle DID reach out to Keiffer, but he informed her, indirectly, that he is not an option for her. For now.
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Where to begin? Jenelle is having a real Fast and Furious March (and its March 2nd)

Well Juh-nell.. I miss you with Keefuh!

            Jenelle returned to North Carolina after leaving her Florida rehab. Her one week stay was clearly enough time to cure a heroin addiction exhaustion (allegedly). Upon her return, she expected to return to her home with ex/current boyfriend, Gary Head (the guy she is currently dating on this season of Teen Mom2)  and continue pursuing charges against her estranged husband, Courtland Rogers. The last time we heard from Courtland, he was making fun of Jenelle because Gary sent Jade (Gary's ex-girlfriend) flowers on Valentines day. Then, he went on a multi-state road-trip while running from the police who are "tracking him down" in regards to his  domestic abuse charges of (alleged) assault on Jenelle and their totally made-up to sell interviews unborn baby.

Really? You have two "fans"?

             Instead, Jenelle came home to find out that Gary had been running around with some girl @scorpio...somethingorother and had gotten his job back at some bar where he used to work with his ex-girlfriend, Jade. He has also been playing up his new found "celebrity". *eye rolls* Upon learning Jenelle was home from treatment, he started writing Jade love-tweets (Oh Jade, I can't fight this feeling anymoreeeeee). Jade had a few sassy tweets that kind of made me like her! She basically told Gary "GTFO. You can't leave me for your ex and then come back! This is childish. I'm angry with you for putting my personal business on the internet (Then why does she run with this crowd? That's their only M.O.)" She also expressed remorse for the betrayal she was sure poor Jenelle would feel. What a level-headed and respectable lady!

Then, This happened.... less than 6 hours later.

Eye roll... You're a bigger
moron than Jenelle Evans Rogers

              Meanwhile, Jenelle is like SO totally OVER Gary. Shes cutting off his phone. She thinks he should get a job. (Uh, Jenelle, he did. He works with his ex-girlfriend... who I think is now his girlfriend. Again. So... why don't YOU get a job?) She claimed that she had been supporting Gary this whole time (but not Jace, your toddler, right?).


Then, it happened.... like gasoline on a bonfire....
Courtland Rogers is BACK in action!

Courthouse... the Casanova!
I'm glad he knows where the line of impropriety is

Such a dedicated hubby

                He began supporting Jenelle saying things like "She's still my wife! You cant just go around breaking my wife's heart and expect not to have to deal with me!" SAY WHAAAAAT?! AND - he has given Gary Head a new nickname: "North Carolina Corn"... Okay. SO there's that, and while many refer to Jenelle as "JE" in tweets to save space on the 140 character limit... Courtland is indignant that her initials are "JR". How quickly we forget that last week they wished they had never married and Jenelle was complaining that she badly wanted to marry North Carolina Corn, previously known as Gary Head.

Can't wait to meet him?
Gary, you DO have a fan!

Oh, now I feel very safe...

                Side piece note:  NCC apparently has Jenelle's dog, Brody. Courthouse, as Babs Evans calls him, is on his way to find the dog. NCC can't wait because he is/was (?) a marine and he wants to put Courthouse in some kind of hand-to-hand combat choke hold. (Please please please please let MTV cameras be there!) JR would probably go with Courthouse (her kind-of husband) to retrieve her dog from NCC (her ex-fiance/boyfriend/roomate) but shes too busy ...checking back into another Florida rehab!

48 hours in the life of Jenelle Evans (Rogers) is more exciting than a month in mine.
Look at your life. Look at your choices.

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February 26, 2013

Everyone's favorite Teen Mom of all time, Jenelle, has been missing in action for several days. Courtland Rogers, her estranged husband, has been saying that she is in rehab for heroin (an addiction he previously attributed to Kiefer(sp?) Delp). Currently, Courtland is on a very strange drug-induced road trip(allegedly) while running from the police(allegedly, so I've decided to discount any claims he makes in general. 

Photos courtesy of TMZ

Then, today, several media outlets reported that Jenelle is in fact in Malibu for a very serious heroin addiction (allegedly). She reportedly admitted herself voluntarily (at the request of MTV), after rumors swirled that production on Teen Mom 2 may shut down---due to Jenelle being 100% completely fucking nuts. Gary Head, Jenelle's ex-fiance and current roommate/boyfriend, has spoken out,issuing the following statement: 

"Jenelle is NOT ON DRUGS. She got sent for emotional support because this season was so intense. MTV Does not want her to see this season and then relapse because of all the stress, but I will say that Jenelle does not do drugs. I won’t allow that and he knows that if she ever goes back to drugs then she can have them. But she won’t have me. I won’t allow it."      

Well, Gary may not allow drugs, but he DOES allow himself plenty of time hanging with the ladies! One woman in particular has not left his side since Jenelle "went away". I pulled this photo from twitter.

                  You know the old adage:

"When PB&Jenelly is away... every guy she's ever dated will sell stories about her and date other broads!"  Get well soon, Jenelle! It's no fun to mock someone in treatment.

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