Teen Mom 2 Season 4 Episode 5

Jenelle showed off her new friends to her boss, Duffy.
Then, he showed them off to all of twitter.
Now, I'm showing them off to all of you!
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Jenelle is getting her breast implants today so she can have self-confidence and stop being so dependent on men's opinions! Immediately following surgery, she's confused because Kieffer has been squatting staying at her house and Gary has been calling. Stuck between a crack rock and a .... hey, none of it matters because she is currently back with her husband, Courtland.

Kieffer is taking care of Jenelle while she texts Gary recooperates from surgery. Gary sends Jenelle roses and I'm confused. Gary and Kieffer are friends in real life, even after this backstabbing move! I guess its a case of Bros before Hoes. Babs escorts Jenelle to the bathroom and stays for a little girl talk "in case ya get woozie in they-uh Juh-nell!" 

Eventually, Jenelle asks Kieffer to leave so she can go to Barbaras house and plan her reunion with Gary. She promises Babs she will take things slow. Gary walks in and she immediately asks him to be her boyfriend. Gary compares Kieffer and Jace saying they are both jobless, homeless, leaches (rude!) and tells her they should "take it slow" #teenmom2motto. They will be engaged within weeks.

I can't even
look at you.

Kailyn thinks its a good time for Javi to move in because she is "twenty years old and not getting any younger". What an old maid. She is totally mature about it. She decides she isn't going to tell Jo because it isn't his business. Lord knows, Heaven and Earth would implode if Vee moved in with Jo. She tells Javi he will just be taking on financial responsibilities because he is already a  father figure to Isaac. Isaac HAS a father. The delusions! Her mental faculties are truly astounding. Later she tells Javi that "wedding fever comes along with the right person" (This is true, just ask Leah Messer-Sims-Calvert).

Chelsea had a haircutting test

Chelsea thinks that moving "away" will be better for her because there's nothing in South Dakota left for her... (except her school, family, friends, and support system for herself and her child) and she is tired of running into or hearing about Adam. We are ALL tired of hearing about AAAADDDDUUM! Chelsea says that she is so stressed about her MOVE that she is falling behind in school #teenmom2motto. Chelsea, her mom Mary, a random guy, and Aubrey go house hunting. Chelsea SHRIEKS in a shrill baby-voice that made God regret creating vocal chords. She decides she doesn't like the place she toured and calls her dad to yell at him about having to live in Sioux Falls and accept all of his and her mothers help with things like tuition and free rent. She decides her dad is a jerk because he won't enable her from another state. Then, when that doesn't work, she cries. Again. In front of Aubrey. Again. I'm sending Aubrey therapists numbers daily at this point.

Jeremy is
back in the saddle again

Leah is getting Jeremy to take her back by inviting him over and apologizing asking for her ring back. Jeremy doesn't require much schmoozing. He is instantly back in. When Leah says, "Jump" Jeremy says, "Here's a diamond ring!" (which has never left the pocket of the jeans I bet he hasn't washed) Oh, the thirst...  Leah's sister thinks that Leah is so thirsty for a husband because they didn't grow up with a dad. Corey tells his dad he thinks the back-and-forth is done. Corey's dad seems relieved and gives good advice without seeming like a budinsky. I like him. Later, all three (Jeremy, Leah, and Corey) meet up to exchange the girls. Corey seems like he may cry watching another man drive of with his family. Sad. Leah is wearing her engagement ring, a hoodie, false lashes, acrylic nails, and awful extensions. Jeremy is smitten and tells her that they are taking things too slow. (Is this real life?) She agrees to run to the beach and get married asap.



Next week on Teen Mom 2:

• Jenelle picks weed over her child (again) and yells at her mom (again) then storms out of the house (again). 

• Chelsea may be going to court with Adam, which would be a completely new storyline for her after 4 years of moving, GED/hair school, and Adam-lust.

• More than likely, Leah and Jeremy get married and go house hunting

• Kailyn beats Javi until he agrees to walk her dogs. (Please, Javi, get a TRO and take her court. For once, someone give this broad a taste of her own bile. Wishful thinking)