Teen Mom 2 Season 4 Episode 4

I never need to read the rest of this. It's enough that he posted, "Remember when I got out of jail on that coke charge?" Oh Kieffer, we really missed you. You are the Stan Zbornak to our Golden Girls.

This week on Teen Mom 2, Kieffer gets philosophical.


Jenelle
WHY is Kieffer referring to himself in the third person? Jenelle is pretending she'll "see how things workout" with Kieffer before they get back together. Sure, we believe you.

Jenelle is "falling behind in school" #TM2motto and she has a twitter obsession and a heroin addiction an online marketing job. She wants to buy a boob job. Also, Jenelle hasn't seen Jace lately because shes doing heroin with Kieffer been busy with school, Kieffer, and scheduling appointments for her boob job. Kieffer says her little tits are his friends. He will miss them and he believes God gave them to her for a reason, but fortunately for people who don't believe in God, there are advances in technology that can give you bigger tits.  Thank you, Confucius. Jenelle decides to discuss the breast augmentation with her mother, and Jace. Thank God, Jace was on hand to hear Jenelle tell her mom about small penises and boob jobs.


                                            Kailyn

What I see when
 I look at Kailyn Lowry

Blah blah hypocrite bologna. "Let's go to court because I am insanely jealous and bitter." Blah blah, nothing new here. Kailyn makes me want to drink bleach. She stalks Jo on twitter, she hates that he has a girlfriend who isn't her. She thinks she can dictate when and how he spends time with his son, but conversely believes she can do anything she wants with that same child whenever she wants. She abuses the legal system with things like falsified TROs and a zillion tax payer dollars in wasted courtroom time. Go away, Kailyn. Go far, far, away.



                          Chelsea
Chelsea is STILL baby-talking to her mom, doctor, and friends about having slept with Adam a zillion weeks ago without being on birth control. No one cares. She's so boring. The only thing I ever care about is her and her mothers hair. It's always a tragedy. I wish they would just zoom in on the hair-do's and add the voice track. Chelseas hair says "Waaaaahn, waaaahn, Aaaaaaaaduuuuuum, booooo hoooo. Goo goo ga ga GED"
Chelsea's mom decides to concentrate on her granddaughter, who is not a lost cause. Spoiler alert: Adam just had a baby with someone else. The mascara is STILL running at Chelseas house. Chelsea has only ever had 3 story lines:

• Aaaaaaaduuuuuum waaaaaahn
• GED/Hair school
• Moving

You'll notice, none of those storylines are about being a mom.

Leah
Leah told Jeremy she was going to try and work things out with Corey in therapy and needed to break things off. Before they ever get to therapy she decides she isn't into Corey afterall. She tells Corey she needs to go back with Jeremy. I'm so GLAD she was selfless enough to NOT drag Jeremy around.

Jeremy calls Corey and goes to his home to discuss their Eskimo-Brother situation. While they really love each other, and Leah (why?!)they both DO NOT like Robbie. Confused? Lets look at a timeline of Leahs love life.

Is he one of the seven lucky guys?

• Dates Robbie. 
• Days after breaking up, she meets and sleeps with Corey. 
• Finds out shes pregnant a few weeks later. 
• Cheats on Corey with Robbie. 
• Break up. 
• Gets back together with Corey and accepts proposal. 
• Cheats with Robbie. 
• Divorces Corey. 
• Meets and moves in with Jeremy. 
• Gets pregnant and accepts proposal. 
• Loses baby, breaks up with Jeremy. 
• Pretends to get back together with Corey.  
• Gets back together with Jeremy and marries him. 
• Gets pregnant. 

Last week, she told detractors (via Facebook) that she is NOT a whore, y'all! She has ONLY had sex with seven (7) guys. Well, you're also 21 and I am NOT good at math, but it would seem there are several fellas not listed on the timeline... So, are you saying you had a few one-night-non-whore-stands or have you had some unreported affairs during BOTH your marriages? By the way, I know I've already mentioned, but I'd like to  reiterate, she's 21. 2 marriages. 3 kids. 7 guys. Not a whore.

Next week,
Leah and Jeremy are re-engaged. Jenelle may get back with Gary Head. (spoiler alert, twitter told me they got engaged)Kailyn doesn't want Vee living with Jo, so she invites Javi to move-in. Chelsea whines about Adam. I kill myself.


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