The girls are going to their dads house for the weekend, but Leah goes to pick Ali up concurrently so she can hear about her first day from Ali and the teacher. The amount of seamless coparenting here is obnoxiously perfect. Though they are eskimo brothers, Corey and Jeremy really get along like friends, and no one calls Leah a whore, even though she's only been with 7 guys in 21 years of life. (This was HER word on a reunion, so you know the boys multiplied that number by 3 and agreed to never discuss it on national TV again). Side Note: If you're doing the math, That was her first boyfriend, Robbie, Corey, twins (on 16 & pregnant), marriage (on Teen Mom2), Robbie again, divorce, Jeremy, Corey, Jeremy, marriage, third baby, 21st birthday. So where did the other 4 fellas come in? Back to the show...
Ali has been in school for a few weeks now, and it is Corey's night with the twins. His parents are there to visit with the twins and hear all about Ali's schooling. Her answers are indicative that she will take after her father. "Do you like school?" Yea. "Do you learn things?" No. "Whats fun about it?" should shrug. Corey's dad expresses concern that Aliyah (spelling?) doesn't feel left out because Ali gets so much more attention (doctors visits, trips for doctors visits, schooling, etc). Corey says he is aware of the situation and has noticed her acting out.
Cute scene of Corey playing with the girls - cut to Leah iChatting with her BFF who now resides in Vegas. They talk weather and hair and Ali in school. They discuss Corey's progress in exiting his perpetual state of denial. It's nice that they can continue their friendship.
Cruella and her husband, Javi are discussing her treatment of his family, her bridesmaid. She is hard-nosed bitchy about it. She's also found a way to make this about "poor me", "I've never had to deal with other peoples opinions. I don't have a family. I don't have a mom or dad." False. You have both. I've seen them both on this show. Also, you have to respect Javi's opinion all the time... Who am I kidding?! She asks her son to leave the room and play upstairs. He says NO! #Sassy! Everytime Big Foot says something like "I don't want anything to ruin our wedding" I say outloud, "Vow Renewal."
Bessie is at a doctors appointment and Isaac is hamming it up. He's super cute. He's ready to have the baby out, and he tells the doctor he thinks it's in his moms tummy. Bessie is so hungry, she now wants to eat her placenta. Her doctor is pretty sure she drove here from crazytown. Her doctor thinks she should switch to a doctor over in crazytown, because it's a 2 hour drive and that is not recommended during labor.
Ms. Piggy and her bridesmaid think it's cute that all of her VOW RENEWAL photos will have her baby bump. They also enjoy that her mother is not invited to the VOW RENEWAL that MTV is paying for. The more they describe her mother, the more it sounds like they are describing HER. Ah well, you hate in others what you hate in yourself, so... there you go.
Wow, trying on wedding dresses, she's choosing BLINDING white, not ecru. She needs a dress that shows off her bump so that you can tell she's pregnant. Are we done with her yet? Ugh,
Jenelle has a new darker 'do and she tells her mom that she has no friends and doesn't come to see her mom or son much because she's with Nathan. Barbara has her antennas on and asks if Jenelle thinks this might sound like a controlling relationship. Jenelle responds that it's, like, obviously, totally, NOT a controlling relationship because he ALLOWS her to do lots of stuff. Duh. She doesn't call or talkto Babs because she has no concerns, everything in her life is smooth sailing. Barbara is like... am I a lifeline or a friend? Also, don't you want to check on your son? Ever? Who am I kidding?! Babs makes plans for a girls day on the beach!
Jenelle had an emergency appendectomy. Nathan took the opportunity to argue with Barbara about taxes. Of course, if you hear Jenelle tell it, Barbara is pushy and out of control, Nathan is a saint. If you listen to the voicemail from Barbara, she's a litle sassy, but kind of just a fed-up really caring mother. She accurately assesses Nathan as a "pretty boy version of Courtland" who, by the way, was just the white version of Kieffer. Babs calls, again, to tell Jenelle how disappointed she is that yet AGAIN Jenelle is choosing a random fucking guy over her mother and her son. I highly suspect that Nathan and Barbaras REAL argument was not about taxes, but was about him poking his nose around in her finances. This is the way the conversation sounds... Jenelle hurries Babs off the phone, calling her DUMB, she's probably not ALLOWED to discuss this while filming. #ForeverDesperate Tori is laughing her ass off, because if you watch Titanic 5 times in a row, you start to find the subtle humor in the decisions you KNOW will be disastrous. "You idiot! Don't ignore the iceberg warnings... Okay, watch and see what happens. Dumb ass"
Tori has really gained some weight, I fully believe she's clean and sober. However, I don't feel the same about Jenelle. Either way, they are still talking. There are all of these technical reasons that Nathan doesn't have money. He's now walking around shirtless. #UnderwearModel He hardly puts on a dishrag of a shirt. Now, they are discussing ghosts of boyfriends past. Jenelle describes them as follows:
Courtland (HER HUSBAND) is nice, but "thuggish". Gary is respectful, but BLUNT. Keiffer just didn't like talking to Barbara. Lets revisit them, too, shall we? Courtland and Jenelle did drugs together. They were arrested multiples times together for beating each other up, sometimes with broken furniture, and she spent the entire last episode "in fear" of seeing him in a court room, but he was nice. Gary dated other girls while she was in rehab and gave away her dog. Also, he sold her out to magazines and dogged her alllllll day on the internet. She claims he also beat her up, at least once. He was nice. Then, there is the fan favorite: Kieffer! Should I even begin? She claims he got her hooked on heroin. We WATCHED them on national television do heroin together. They were arrested together on multiple occasions. If I were him, I'd avoid your mom, too. Tori doesn't understand why a reasonable woman like Babs is irrationally hating on this successful business man
Jenelle is having Babs over for emergency discussion about Courtland's release. Nathan interjects anytime Jenelle responds to a direct question. #Controlling. He's really sassy with Barbara. Oh, he's really becoming aggressive. Barbara really seems like she has some legitimate concerns, Nathan throws her out. He has a nice point about the amount of curse words used in front of the baby, but he crossed the line when he tell Barbara she was a terrible mother, blames her for Jenelle's drug problems, accused her of kidnapping Jace and keeping him from Jenelle, and a few other things. Sir, you do NOT know what you're talking about. Also, what does this guy know about parenting? He lost custody and visitation of his child. Jenelle does NOT stick up for her mother, instead she asks her mother to leave. Jace witnesses it all.
Chelsea mentions something about Adam and then takes her daughter to check the mail. Aubree is super cute. Like, mega, ultra, ridiculously cute. Also, she has been watching Chelsea very closely. Chelsea/Aubree says to Randy/Chelsea: I don't have money. Give me some. Chelsea is too distracted to notice because Adam sent her some kind of letter that I'm pretty sure he's sent 100 times since season 1. She calls Papa Randilicious immediately. After the giant judicial let down that was Kailyn Lowry vs. Jo Rivera, I couldn't care less about court papers. I have lost all faith in the wheels of justice.
Chelsea invites a friend over so she can film a scene expressing her disgust for the person she chose to be the father of her child. His disco stick is tainted now, with the love nectar of a new baby momma, so Chelsea has momentarily decided to set-aside her lust in exchange for blinding rage: Like, GO AWAY! Her friend monotones: He needs to leave you alone. --- False! He needs to do the opposite of leave her alone. He needs to be a consist source of parenting in his daughters life, because she needs her mother AND her father. Keeping this in perspective, if Adam wanted LESS involvement in his daughters life, they'd film scenes bitching about that. Oh! THANK YOU! THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS! I have said for 5 seasons now, please for the love of all you hold dear in life, stop trashing the opposite parent in front of your child(ren)! Aubree just busted ALL in her moms conversation, "Are you talking about my dad?" I hope this is a lesson learned, but I fear that it is not.
Adam is filming a scene with some friends who would never ask these questions in real life. Adam is pretty sure Chelsea isn't over him. He's probably correct, but he's super skeezy because he's taking so much pride in it. Ugh. I want Chelsea to marry a brain surgeon who is 6' 5" and ruggedly handsome. Maybe he minored in rocket science for funsies because he's super smart and super cool. Then, old bald Adam and his 15 DUIs will STFU about how much Chelsea wishes she could have him. Ugh. #DareToDream
Chelsea and her dad are at his casa discussing her motion to object to Adam's request for STATE GUIDELINES of shared custody. Adam is requesting every other weekend, and 2 weeks in the summer. MORE. THAN. REASONABLE! This is actually what most people agree to. She wants him supervised by his parents at their house every other weekend for one night or every three weeks for 2 nights. I don't know. She needs a dad, but he needs to stop drinking and driving. Unfortunately, my faith in the justice system has escaped me, so I highly doubt that this is going to play out anyway I personally believe that it should. Look on the bright side, Chelsea, he's going to jail one day for all these DUIs anyway, and you can keep Aubree all to yourself then. Papa reduces Chelsea to tears because he tells is like it is: Aubree thinks a dad is someone who comes by every 2 weeks and takes a picture with you. LOL! SASSY! Chelsea thinks thats so sad, because she chose this shitty guy to be the father of her child. Chica-- search out a successful loving caring man who will also love and care for your child. ASAP! Then, she will feel the love of two parents and see what love is! Her dad will be lagniappe. Ehh.... Easier said than done.
Next Week:
Jenelle continues widening the rift between herself and Barbara by using the tool that is Nathan.
Chelsea wants to use Adams DUIs against him in court.
Leah wants to go to martial counseling.
Kailyn complains.
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