Jenelle scheduled an appointment because isn't sure "if I have a dead fetus inside of me or if I am pregnat with YOUR baby or if I'm still pregnant with my husband's child". The amount of class I've found in that statement is undeniable.
Babs is sitting outside on the front lawn, because there is a monster in her home. Jace is repetitively kicking the front screen door open. Babs tells him to knock it off and he's like "Fuck this! Fuck you! Fuck around! Quit fucking playing with me! I'm Jace Evans, lady. Fuck your front door!" Barbara responds, "Dont say those potty words, or you'll know what happens!" Guess what happens? He LOCKED HER ASS OUT, is what happened! She didn't even have a hide-a-key! Nothing. She stood at her front door begging her grandson to let her back in. Then, when he did, she went and sat back down on the lawn. He half-heartedly apologized. I SEE HOW JENELLE BECAME JENELLE!
It's time for Jenelle's ultrasound. She can't even pretend to not know what to expect. At this point, she could run the machine herself. The nurse tells her that there's no one in her uterus and Nathan is like "Oh, two or three times a day there IS someone in there!" I barfed.
Jenelle and Nathan are glad that the abortion pill isn't affecting their baby and that the abortion pill worked so she isn't pregnant with her husband's baby. They vow to try again to get pregnant with their own child. The rest of the world vows to shun the US for celebrating this conversation on national TV.
Babs is really happy that Jenelle is not pregnant. Nathan thinks he wasted 4 hours picking out names. Jenelle is like --- no we're doing this. We want this. Babs is like, impending jail time and being married to someone else is not the right time for this. Jenelle is resolute. Jace joins the gang for this very adult conversation. He was sweating this new baby so hard...
Kailyn quit her job, because she owns two houses. She's now on her way back to house number 1 in order to try and enlist a judge to aid her in kidnapping her son. Her
Isaac knocks on his dad's door and says "Let me in! I have diarrhea!" Everyone laughs. Jo invites Kailyn inside to discuss a compromise. He wants extra overnight visits. Kailyn is making a huge deal over this ONE specific night because she doesn't think she should have to pay tuition? I'm confused. i thought the conversation was going well, but Kailyn storms off and begins hysterically crying to her husband about the word "petty". To break down the nonsense: Kailyn wants to enroll her son in a pre-school that is open Mon-Thursday four weeks a month. She will have him in school Mon-Wednesday. This cuts out 4 days each month meaning her son attends school 12 days each month. Jo wants 2 extra days with his son each month. This would mean the child misses 6 days of school each month and attends school 10 days per month. So Kailyn WILL pay tuition for 12 days of school, but not 10. I'd ask why Jo is not helping to pay for tuition, but in an earlier season he mentioned that he is against pre-schooling and wants his son to spend the formative years around family. Jo, this kid spends so much time with Kailyn Lowry... he NEEDS that time in pre-school. Trust. Me.
Kailyn is going before the judge to confess that she went behind his/her back and purchased a house out of state and moved. She hollers that looking at Jo will set her off today. GROSS! A judge gave Kailyn what she wants. UGHHHHH It's okay, though, because if I've learned one thing about watching Kailyn Lowry on Teen Mom2 for 5 seasons, it is that she is NEVER ever ever ever happy. Ever. No matter what she is given, she is eternally sour. This makes me warm and fuzzy inside.
Kailyn and Jo are exchanging the child at Ross Dress for Less. Kailyn is already bitching that she didn't get everything she wanted.
Married: check
Pregnant: check
Home owner: check
Domiciliary: check
Moved son hours from father: check
What did she not get? I'm confused? Kailyn is the worst. Be happy for once in your life, cunt.
Aubree is having her birthday at school. Chelsea is a carrot top and she's talking about Adam having a new baby on her birthday. She's annoyed because SHE wanted a family and Adam is, like, having children with other people... She's like flirty with him so she doesn't understand. Also, half-siblings are, like, sub-par. Side-Note: Last week, in real time, Adam Lind smashed a Corvette into an elderly couple and was pulled form the wreckage before the car burst into flames. The elderly couple (in their 80's!) have broken bones. Adam is fine and being charged with 5 crimes... Uhhh he's had like 100 DUI's and has two children. WTF is he doing with a Corvette? Also, he has no license. Also, there were no drugs or alcohol involved -- just his sheer stupidity. Back to Teen Mom: Chelsea is pining for a Forever Family with Adam. Why?
Chelsea is getting everything ready for Aubree's birthday party. She's turning 4 and she's super over her mom. I think Chelsea is a really great mom, over-all. She seems to really enjoy her daughter and genuinely care about her. Unfortunately, she's still talking about Adam Lind. Apparently, they've invited Adam over to help prepare for the party under the condition that he not mention the birth of his new child.
Adam shows up in his now burnt-to-a-crisp Corvette, to bake cake pops. Aubree goes outside to get her gift from the car, but first, she criticizes Adam's parking skills. Chelsea and Adam haven't even said hello. Aubree opens her gift and before she realizes what it is, Chelsea blurts out "She already has that!" Manner, asshat. Manners. Say thank you and exchange it later, if you MUST. Chelsea starts talking about how THEY did this and THEY make cute kids. Adam is like--- I'm taking her to a sane non-obsessive environment. Aubree really wants to go with her dad. Chelsea tries to bribe her to stay by upstaging Adam's gift with a large stuffed pony.
Aubree's party is pink and black and everything Pinterest has to offer. She has a huge Rapunzel bouncy castle. I think there's only one other child at the party and everyone else is a 20-something friend of Chelsea talking about Chelsea. Oh, I take it back, there are some other kids there-- but it IS mostly adults. It's a cute party.
Leah's husband is coming home from his month long job-- where he recently fainted. Leah is worried.
Leah is taking her purple extensions and her husband to a very strict doctor to see about his recurring headaches. They are not getting along and it is a stressful day.
Leah and her husband are back home and all of his tests came back normal. He probably fainted from stress. The bigger and more interesting component of this scene is that everytime the camera pans to Leah, someone in her family is holding a different one of her clip-in extensions. LOL! She is either shedding them like crazy or giving them to people are toys and love tokens. I don't know. It;s very Britney 2007: You want a piece of me? I think her hausband just tried to put one back on her head. It looked like putting tinsel on a Christmas tree. I think the kids are germ-xing after playing in their moms weave. Jeremy will stay home for a while.
Next Week on Teen Mom2:
Jenelle goes to court, Tori gets rid of her McDonalds 'do
Chelsea cries about Adams new baby
Leah enrolls he kids in school
Kailyn is miserable
I live for this! lol
ReplyDeleteI can't stop laughing!
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