January 21st

SEASON 5 PREVIEW

I've just watched the season 5 preview. I guess after Teen Mom 3 tanked, MTV needed to recoop their loses. Jenelle Evans brand of psychosis is just the ticket. 

In the preview, Kailyn LowLifery is finally getting all of these things she's been wanting! She's getting (re)married, starting a real family with her new husband, and purchasing a home. Ahh stability! How do you think this realization of her life long dreams is going over? Well, she's fucking whining about it. 

Jenelle Evans is only shown with Nathan... but what about her husband (and his teenage babymomma)? What about Gary Head and his other girlfriend, Jade? WHERE IS KEIFFA?!

Remember when Courtland gave Jenelle this friendship ring?
It was definitely NOT an engagement ring.
Then, two or three weeks later, they got married?
Then, separated.Then together. Then, separated. Then, together.
Then, separated by "unfortunate incarceration" - Anthony Bouvier

She mentions being pregnant and making the decision to have an abortion because she can't take care of her first child. Here are my thoughts: This BETTER be regarding the pregnancy she announced with her husband, Courtland Rogers. She "lost" that pregnancy and was very outspoken about not having an abortion, though Courtland claimed it was an abortion, and also claimed it was the result of her drug usage. If this is regarding her current pregnancy, let's mail her anthrax (no, I'm kidding. Do NOT do that). She sold the story to multiple outlets claiming that she and Nathan (her side-piece of 6 months) began dating they each mused that they had something in common: they are both stripped of parental rights! They decided the answer was simple: another baby! She told EVERYONE who would listen that they planned this pregnancy. If she and MTV really try to tell us that this was an accident and she mulled over aborting it... it'll be an assault on our intelligence.

Leah is probably getting (another) divorce. According to the previews she has a lot of baby daddy/babydaddy drama and can be heard on the phone saying her husband is filing for divorce. #NOTSURPRISED Obviously, they are not divorce yet because she has yet to sell the interview to Life&Style. She also continues to worry about her daughters health.

Chelsea is on the couch crying about Adam.

Feel free to watch the preview below and stock up on wine while there's still time. It looks like we will need a full cask per episode. Should we play a drinking game this season? hmm.... ideas?

Season 5 Preview