Teen Mom 2 Season 4 Episode 10

Tonight on Teen Mom 2: Chelsea spreads mono like wildfire! Yuck.

Disclaimer: My internet is being a real jerk, so please accept this post, flaws an all.

Chelsea took a month away from school to party because life is, like, hard. She's turning 21 (and it's Aubrey's birthday, too). A-D-A-M will NOT be there! Don't even say his name mom! Chelsea needs fake nails because its almost her birthday. Adam is not invited here, either. Chelsea isn't going to start stripping and her friend makes a sad face. Later, she tells her mom that she's going to dinner and have drinks with friends. Chelsea is pretending she's never had a budlight before. Okay, you dated Adam and you've never had a can of cheap beer before? L-O-L girl. Chelsea just did a cheerleading move during a before-dinner prayer and now she can't keep it in her pants. She asks the waitreess if the bartender would be "an easy slide-in".  The next day, Chelsea is super proud that she didn't puke. Adam text her "Geez, how many people can you make out with in one night?" Chelsea REALLY REALLY REALLY hopes this is a sign that Adam loves her. I'm sure he's just wondering why she's spreading her mono around town.

Jenelle is lost her roommate and her online job isn't very profitable so she better sell some tabloid stories. It's all cool though, because Kieffer is going to move in and pay half the bills. HAHAHAHA Jenelle dropped out of school "temporarily" (just like Chelsea). Oh by the way it's Jace's birthday. Jenelle didn't want to plan anything but she'll invite Kieffer and all their friends. Kieffer wants to get to the gy

mnastics place ASAP because he feels the need to use the trampoline. Babs greets him with her usual "Oh... hi Keefuh." Barbara gets stuck in the foam pit. Hehe! Jenelle lifts her shirt and exposes her belly for the duration of the party. Classy. She puts her shirt down long enough to tell Babs that her bank account is negative 600. Thats right...-$600. This is all because she was spending too much money on marijuana. Gary tried to warn her, but at least now she's staying clean because she can't buy any.
Later, Barbara comes over to talk to Jenelle about her financial crisis. Not to worry Babs! Jenelle and Gary are hand carving peace pipes and stashing them in a caboodle. They are selling them on the internet and should be rich in about 600 years. The conversation turns to Jenelle's visitation of Jace. Jenelle is irrational and Jace cries when she tries to kiss him. Clearly, he knows where his bread is buttered: "Don't yell at my grandma!"

Javi is going to propose to Kailyn (on camera). The baby is with him. I'm glad that Jo is mature enough to allow Javi to babysit Isaac and perform "fatherly duties". LAWD if that was Vee... Kailyns ring is 1/3 of Britney Spears ring. No one has to know they got married at the courthouse, except for "obviously, like, close people". I am flattered to be called "close people".  She can't say let's tell "family and friends" because she doesn't have any. Kailyn explains that she's getting married at the courthouse so that she can move with Javi on an airforce base and receive all of his benefits because they have a baby together. Oh no, wait, they don't. Why does your boyfriend need to give you medical benefits?

Leah is on the phone with Jeremy and he asks to see a photo of the dress and she tells him it is bad luck. Oh you think the DRESS will doom the marriage? I think the BRIDE will doom the marriage. To hell with tradition, you can see the bride before the wedding.

Leah: "Corey Corey Corey, my last marriage, Corey"
Jeremy: "This better be your last marriage"
God: *Lightning and thunder*

Mother Monster

These close-ups of Leahs face are killing me. She's twenty and she has those awful smokers lines. Jeremy "aint nervous at all". Thats a wrap. He's ready for a beer in the limo. It might rain so Leah is dressed like Lady Gaga. It's kind of tragically fabulous.  Her limo has strobe lights. She insists that everyone "break it down, break it down, no REALLY! Break it down". Her nails and hair look awful. Maybe her next wedding she will finally nail that "classic" look. PS her bridesmaids dresses were a terrible idea.


Next week on Teen Mom:
Jo thinks Kailyn is ridiculous (Don't we all?)
Ali finallys takes her first steps!
Babs and Jenelle argue over whether she actually wants Jace.