Teen Mom 2 Season 4 Episode 7 and 8

Here come the brides... and Chelsea is crying over EVERY ceremony.
"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaad, That should be meeeeeeeeeeee and Aaaaaaaaduuuum"



Jenelle and Gary are in love. She loves him because hes good with Jace, he has a good job, hes in the military so he'll make good money, and she doesnt want to look for someone else and start all over. So, she's a lazy opportunist. Her roommate tells her if Gary proposes, she shouldn't accept. Foreshadowing. Jenelle and Gary take Jace on a date.

Jenelle: I love you because your big ears are sticking out like that all the time!
Gary; I don't care leave my big ears alone
Jenelle: Dumbo, fly away
Gary: I need to talk to you. I know we had some trust issues, but we're pretty much over it.
Jenelle: Yeah, now that Kieffer is gone. Kieffer... Kieffer... Kieffer....
Gary: I guess, I'm asking you, will you marry me?

Jenelle calls Barbara to tell her the big news. Babs tells Jenelle that her only reservation is the amount of fighting they do. Jenelle tells her to chillax because things are going well ...today.

Babs: Well, Juh-nell, what was the proposal?
Jenelle: He came in my room and got down on one knee. It wasn't speical
Babs: Aw well thats real rowmantic Juh-nell
Jenelle: He probably should have planned it out better but he was excited
Babs: Well, ya know, he helps me a lot wiff Jace theyuh, so I'm awl in.
Jenelle: Ok, well I'm going get my hair done.

Leah calls her mom to tell her that in order to use Jeremy's credit to buy a house, they have to be married. Momma Dawn, can you come to the court house and help me get this money? Leah calls Corey to tell him that she is getting married tomorrow. He congratulates her. She tells him that she was calling to let him know because "Jeremy will be the father figure when you aren't around". Corey asks if that was a dig towards his parenting skills. Leah says that he's just mad that she didn't take him back last month. I say, "You were with your ex husband a month ago and now you are marrying someone else?" Stability, y'all. Leah hangs up on him and calls Corey immature about 7 times. Then, she complains that Corey thinks its funny that she and Jeremy are getting married. Leah, we ALL think it's funny. Jeremy thinks its funny, too. "It's going to look like I married a teenager because you got them braces on!" Umm.. or because she's 19. Just saying. Oh, they are officially married! Leah cries. She does not wear white.

Kailyn's boyfriend, Javi, announces that dating and living with a girlfriend who has a baby AND going to school AND working is hard, so he'd rather join the Air Force. Logic. Kailyn basically says it sounds great but there could be custody issues with Jo if they have to move from base to base. I like that her mind goes straight to custody, legal issues, and of course, Jo. Then, she basically calls herself and Javi Mr. and Mrs. PotatoHead. Later, Mrs. Potatohead is playing with a motorcycle and Javi decides that he doesn't want to go into the Air Force alone. He wants a support system, so they should get married. Soon. He hasn't even taken the ASVAB yet. He is literally million steps away from moving onto an Air Force base. He points out that Kail would have full benefits once they are married. Kailyn is immediately in! She says she will call her lawyer in the morning to tell him they should be going back to court since they'll have to move out of state (to Georgia?) with Isaac. WHAT? None of this makes sense. I feel like a lot of info must have been edited from this scene. Either this is a case of choppy editing or Kailyn is as crazy as I keep saying she is. Kail goes to a diner with a friend and judging from their conversation it seems pretty much like she is getting married (in Vegas) in hopes that they will move away, keeping Isaac away from Jo. She's basically using her nuptials as revenge. To further prove my point, Javi calls to tell Kailyn that there was a technical issue and he couldn't take his test yet, which throws off his signing with the Air Force until after the wedding. She says no wedding until you sign. "For richer or for poorer?"

 Chelsea starts off by texting Adam. They are discussing what time they will exchange Aubrey (Aubree?). She's mainly pissed off because some other girl is living her dreams because he never makes time for Aubrey and he sucks. She's feverishly putting on 2 tons of lipgloss because she desperately wants him for no apparent reason. Adam finally drops off the baby and his girlfriend is driving because he has several DUIs. Chelsea literally SKIPS to them and takes the child while screeching in her baby voice. Her friend catches a glimpse of the new girlfriend to later announce that she is NOT pretty because "she was wearing like a headband... with maybe a ponytail". Chelsea is literally shaking. She's such a loser.

Chelsea: Were you naughty?
Aubrey: Yes
Chelsea: Good!
Me: Worst. Parent. Ever.

Adam and his girlfriend go to dinner with his dad and a friend. They discuss how difficult Chelsea makes things for Adam and his daughter since they broke up. Chelsea and her friend have a full on Cher-in-the-valley conversation about Adam. I won't even recap it because she has had this conversation 30,000 times and I'd rather eat a cactus than quote her whiney self-centered immature conversation, again. Spoiler Alert: Taylor and Adam are having a baby. Chelsea will spend next season saying things like,

" Daaaaaaaaaaad did you see the way the baaaaaaaaaaaby looked at me? S/he is SO rude! Whatever. When will Aaaaaaduuuuuuuum will leaver her/him and come back to his REAL family? Waaaaaaahnnnnnnn! He like loves us. So there. Suck it, other baaaaaby! With your pacifier! Whatever! Yeah, cry! Like a BAAAAAAAAAAABY! Baby!"

This Taylor girl is living my dreams Dad!

Oh my God. Chelsea is literally crying and whining on a whole nother level. Again. I'm seconds away from bashing my tv screen in. Papa Randy is being completely sensible, as usual. At least the baby is outside playing with someone. It's rare that Chelsea sobs about Adam without Aubrey there to comfort her.


Next Episode:
Leah is a newly wed. She just married a man who makes six figures a year in order to use his credit to buy a new house and they bought a house which is in both of their names. She is very crafty. Started from the trailer now we here... Started in a trailer now my whole family here. Her voice-over announces that said house (the one she owns with her husband) is expensive and her daughters incur expenses of their own, which have NOT changed, so she will ask Corey, her EX-HUSBAND, for more child support. Whawhawhawha-What?! If anything, this man should be paying you LESS child support. Leah basically tells Corey that he needs to purchase the title of "Dad". He currently pays $500/month for the girls. He asks what its for and how much she needs. She says you figure it out. I say she's decorating her new house and you are paying her share of the girls' expenses. He decides that another $100 each month is fair. She agrees, then consults a lawyer. Now, she wants $800/month. Jeremy makes $16,000/month. Just saying. She basically blindsided Corey.

Chelsea is falling behind in school #teenmommotto and somehow it is because of Adam. Adam, the father of her child, who doesn't speak to her. Logical. Chelsea is pretty sure that Adam sits around thinking of things he can do to hurt her. His general actions over the past few years prove to me that he doesn't think about her. At all. She goes to see a lawyer and explore her options, and more importantly, Adam's options. Then, she goes to eat with Papa Randy to talk shit about Adam in front of Aubrey. Chelsea has the same conversation for the third time this episode. I'm bored to tears. Adam and his girlfriend take Aubrey for the day and they seem cute. Aubrey gets fussy, but Adam and his girlfriend remain calm. Its pretty cute.


Jenelle has been falling behind in school #teenmommotto because she and Gary have been engaged for a week and fighting the whole time. Gary kicked her front door in. Stable. Jenelle thinks its funny that she's still with him. Hey, Jenelle, if you think THATS funny, wait until your relationship with your current husband, Courtland! Gary comes back, puppy in hand. Then, they beat the shit out of each other and both get arrested. Babs bails her out and Jenelle brings her to the house to reenact the physical fight for her. She tells a friend that Gary showed the police her weed, her crack pipe, and her Kolonopin but they were both charged with all of it. He is currently in military custody. Apparently, the real issue was that he was cheating on her and she busted him. He choked her (allegedly) and she punched him. He told her that if she was going to hit him like she is a grown man, he'd hit her like she is a grown man. This isn't funny. What IS funny, is that she later marries a junkie who beats her then goes BACK to Gary and then goes BACK to the junkie. I find it hard to feel sorry for her. Look at your life. Look at your choices. Gary DM'd her on twitter. He's getting kicked out of the military. She wants him re-arrested for contacting her. Jenelle calls Kieffer and tells him of the new developments. Kieffer rushes over, vowing to kill Gary or chase him around the courthouse. He also gives her some sound advice, "You can definitely find someone better than Gary. Or me. Stop making the same mistake over and over." I really like him in this scene!

Britney Spears was maried her, right?
Okay. Well, her marriage went well.
I'm in. 

Kailyn is telling her manicurist that she is going to visit her friend in Vegas  and they're probably going to get Vegas. Manicure girl is practical and schools her. Hallelujah! Several truth bombs are brought to her attention: Vegas weddings are for jokes, moving around with Javi is unfair to Jo AND to Isaac, and you shouldn't marry someone unless you are 100% positive. Kailyn decides to take Isaac to Vegas with her. Does Jo know you are taking the baby over state lines? Delusion tells her friend that she is prepared to call her lawyer and something about taking Isaac away from Jo. Then, she references Britney Spears being her Vegas wedding guru. She hasn't mentioned it, but I find it safe to assume that she, too, is falling behind in school.


Next week on Teen Mom 2:
Corey confronts Leah about manipulating him on child support and she blames him
Javi passes his ASVAB and Kailyn sees a new world of opportunity
Chelsea wants to take a leave from school because she has NOTHING else going on
I think we will FINALLY see Kieffer chase Gary around the courthouse!!!!


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