Kailyn is getting ready to give birth and she's painting in the nursery. I'm sure Javi would like to tell her how unsafe that is for baby, but he can't get a word in with her bitching and bitching and bitching. She calls him a moron, but she's the one trying to tell a mexican how to paint. OMG-- can you not!? (Just kidding guys, calm down!)
Aaaaaand we're off! She's in labor. Javi is really supportive and sweet for all SIXTEEN HOURS of labor. I know lots of people go that long, but just thinking of it sounds exhausting. Kailyn gave birth to our 16th president during happy hour. I imagine a world where North West, Moses Martin, Lincoln Maraquin, and Mr. President Nida have a kindergarten photo together without Suri Cruise. Javi is really excited and supportive. It's cute. Isaac meets his brother and it's literally the cutest thing I've seen for weeks. He says that Lincoln is HIS baby, his hair is disgusting, and he holds him so lovingly. She's decided her mom can't stay at their house because she sent too many drunks texts while Kailyn was in labor.
Kailyn has a rent-a-friend over to discuss Isaacs transition from only child to big brother. Now, she is regaling us with the tale of 2 am drunk texts from Mother Dearest during labor. She says its a blessing in disguise, because she didn't need the stress in her home with a new baby while she recovers from labor. I agree. Is hell frozen over? Javi is a doting dad. It's super cute. After-birth is really Kailyns best look. She's tolerable.
Leah is dragging a highchair with one hand and holding a glass of wine cooler with the other. She got busted sexting with Corey. Jeremy has again mentioned divorce. Crying wolf. Poor Miranda. They agree to go to counseling -- against Jeremy's better judgement. By the way, their daughter is screaming through the whole scene.
So, despite her husband being incredibly uncomfortable with the amount of texting she and her ex husband have been doing, and the nature of said texts, Leah continues to text Corey and now they are meeting up to do a retrospective and discuss her and Jeremy's martial issues. Leah thinks she's an honest person. LOL (Hey Robbie) They both admit on national tv that they could have made their marriage work. Poor Miranda. I really like her, but her husband is being caught up in his ex-wives childish melodrama.
Leahs twins are at cheer practice -- super cute! Leah, Corey, and Jeremy all stand together watching cheer practice -- even cuter! I swear, people should study this family system. Aside from Leah's incessant whining, they are such a loving, caring family. They co-parent FLAWLESSLY! Divorce done right. Leah feels like the boys are on a team against her, divorce done TOO well? Uh-oh, trouble in WhoVille. Jeremy feels like things are so copasetic that Leah and Corey might still love each other. I think it's probably a small bump in the road and it's still incredibly preferable to ugly divorces where people scream and can't be in the same room together.
Leah feels like Jeremy doesn't express his love for her or concern for his family while he's working out of town. She feels less important that his job. She really wishes he would take an office job in town for a fraction of the pay, instead they're going to counseling. Leah is really an idiot. My better half works out of town. Every time he leaves I am sad. Every time he comes home I am elated. All of the time, I am thankful for the handwork and sacrifices he makes to support me.
Aubree is having some kind of preschool pageant and both of her parents are going to be there. Adam shows up, but of course his girlfriend and their child are there, too. Chelsea is uncomfortable. Aubree is adorable. The pageant is cute. Papa Randy is there taking photos!
Can anyone tell Chelsea, Meagan, and that girl from Total Divas apart? Chelsea says if she met Adam today, she wouldn't be interested. Oh, look at Adam, texting and driving and talking to his girlfriend about his baby momma. Whatever, I text and drive. I don't, however, get a million DUIs, so… HA!
Chelsea has a job, but she still needs to take her state board tests for licensure. She is preparing. Do I want her to give me microdermabrasion or a chemical peel? I am uncertain. I feel I deserve a discount, because when she discusses it, she mentions not being able to pass the GED for 5 years...
Chelsea is complaining about the new visitation schedule that the rest of America has been on for 15 years: every other weekend and a 2 weeks int he summer. She thinks it;s not fair because she also works, so her time with Aubree is limited. Welcome to co-parenting. She's not being too annoying about it, though... It's fine. Okay, whatshisface needs to get it together. He got caught sending other girls dick pics so his girlfriend made him change his number and now he can only inbox Chelsea. She can't have his number. Okay -- lets be clear: Facebook inboxing is waaaaaaaaaaay shadier than texting and calling. Way to be immature Adam Lind. What a fool.
Jenelle is almost 2 months pregnant, so... we shouldn't even know about her pregnancy, yet. She's taking Jace to karate because he likes to hit other kids. Be good or be good at it. Jace is really cute. I'm so happy he finally has a positive role model in his life!! He just said the words, "yes sir". A first! I'm sure it won't last. Jenelle can't commit to anything. She has to much SHE wants to do. She can't be bothered with parenting. As if!
Babs is asking why Nathan and Jenelle don't get jobs instead of playing videos games all day? Nathan alludes to fake "plans" for jobs and lists a million jobs he's allegedly had. I'm pretty sure he thinks this laundry list of odd jobs shows he's hard working, but it really just shows that he doesn't commit to anything. Personal trainer, model, marine, salesman, waiter, investor, fake jobs that don't exist. He's 24. He tells Barbara that Jenelles money is his money. She says, nooooooo sir! You aren't married. Her money is not your money. He runs out of the room. Jenelle makes excuses for him. Babs drops some truth bombs. Jace is in the shadows watching, listening, plotting his escape. Break the cycle, Jace! You can do it! Also, get out of those feet pajamas. I'm sweating for you.
Nathan got arrested for his 3rd DUI. He is SO arrogant and ignorant that he tells the cop to get off his personal property. He and Jenelle discuss how unprofessional the WHOLE police department is. They don't agree on the definition of the term "minimum". For the second time in their 2 month pregnancy, one of the parents may spend a considerable amount of time in jail. Classy.
Jenelle is excusing Nathans 3rd DUI. Barbara is asking peppered questions regarding the $4000 price tag for his arrest and clearly judging. Jenelle is indignant. Like, do NOT even bother me with this. I'm 21 ! I've had 5 pregnancies. I can't be held accountable for wether or not my boyfriend drives my car from here on out. OMG! Also, Jace is hungry, but Babs wants him to eat a cheeseburger. For some reason that makes him cry. Eat the cake, AnnaMae.
Next week is the 90 minute season finale of Teen Mom 2 Season 5:
Adams car is on fire
Someone-- one of Leahs kids? -- can't breathe
Kailyn is crying and it looks like Jo is living with a lady
Nathan asks Jenelle to get an abortion, I'm not sure why she's crying.
It would be her 3rd or 4th. Old hat.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Teen Mom: Out of the CLEAR BLUE
You'll notice I skipped last weeks episode. I couldnt stomach Kailyns vow renewal.
Kailyn and Javi are in bed discussing the fact that she hasnt yet gotten excited about her baby. She's still talking about Jo and her mom not attending the wedding they werent invited to. I'm still bored. Next.
Isaac is the only thing I enjoy in Kailyns scenes. He's really cute. his time with Jo is really rubbing off on him, thank God.
Okay, the new storyline is Kailyns mom. She called "randomly" and asked if she could crash at Kailyns for a while. I think they'll let her because Kailyn needs something to complain about. Moment of honesty, "I'm kind of bitter". Nooooooooooo! Truer words have never been spoken.
Oh heres a scene of Jo parenting Isaac and interacting with him. I love that.
Oh here's an awkward call between Kailyn and her mom. I hate that. Yeah- she's moving in next week. Indefinitely. Ugh, her mom is already talking down to her on the phone. Oh God, Kailyn is fucking crying. Stop putting yourself in these situations you fucktard. This whole conversation is so fucking fake I'm going to barf. Her mom is trying SOOOOO hard to sound like she loves and cares for her daughter but where has she been for 3 years? Ha! BYE!
Chelsea is preparing to take her state board exam, which is ALMOST a new storyline for her. She already has a job. Meanwhile, Adams lawyer finally responded so theres another scene of Chelsea and Papa Randy talking about "court documents".
Aubree is the cutest child thats ever been on any season of Teen Mom any thing, but she's having quite the meltdown. As my mother would say, "She is cruisin for a bruisin'!"I have to say, Chelsea keeps her cool pretty well, but unfortunately she does relinquish her authority by saying, "I'm calling your grandpa!" There's no perfect parent and theres no one right way to parent, and calling your parent when you are stressed is fine, but I don't think I'd have threatened her with her grandparents. Props to her either way, she kept her cool under pressure.
Excuse me>>>> after that hot mess of a meltdown Chelsea is taking her child for ice cream? WTF even? Omg. This is how a "chelsea" is sculpted. Aaaaaadumb talk. A moment of honesty, "I don't like it because I don't like not being in control". Ooops! Aubree got her first brain freeze. Back to boring chatter regarding Adam and court. I d o n ' t c a r e I d o n ' t c a r e I d o n ' t c a r e !
Chelsea and her dad are having lunch, what do you want to bet -- yeah! We're talking about court papers and Adam and visitation. Adam is getting his every-other weekend, but Chelsea is getting her stipulation of monitored visits and no driving! No, Adam and his 15 DUIs can't drive with Aubree. Apparently, this is temporary on a 3-month trial. If Adam breaks the rules, this all reverts back to the old agreement of Chelsea only. Personally, I am elated for Aubree because no matter where her father is or when he shows or doesn't, she gets quality time with his side of the family. It's about grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins, too.
Jenelle immediately says she's 2-3 weeks pregnant. She's keeping it in her back pocket. Nathan is dressed very oddly and also he is excited.
OH MY GOD! Jenelle HONESTLY thinks that having a baby will solve their relationship issues because they will "be busy all the time so (they) wont have time to fight". This bitch. Nathan pretty much revealed his master plan: "I could be one of those douchebags and bail on you, then youd be stuck with another child". Jenelle SMIRKS and replies, "Then I'd be stuck with another child. Thats my decision." GIRL! A) Barbara would be stuck with two toddlers and you. B) He did it before, he will do it again. C) Whats his middle name? I'll bet you don't even know it because youve been dating for 15 minutes. By the way, aren't you still married? I know you are because you've been texting your husband ever since he got out of jail (side note, he went back to jail today). Jenelle thinks she has a mature state of mind. Was your jail stint a week ago the moment of clarity? She continues pontificating and Nathan just cannot listen to her for one more moment. He decides to give himself one last shot at freedom and tried to shake the baby right out of her by throwing her in the air and shouting through gritted teeth, "WERE HAVING A BABY! WERE HAVING A BABY! WERE HAVING A BABY!" Awkward.
Jenelle hasn't told her mom about her pregnancy, not because of her ultrasound but because she never sees Barbara and Jace. There's something weird going on with Nathans hair, will the real Slim Shady please stand up? Ultrasounds are old hat for Jenelle. She's had so many.... She's still talking about that baby she DIDN'T want... a month ago. #AbortionByTeenMom oh look - #LiesByTeenMom, she's going to quit smoking and she doesn't do drugs L-O-L. No questions about pregnancy, because duh.. she's had so many.
Jenelle is OH-So-Casual when she tells her mom thats shes pregnant, again. Thanks for the abortion fund, last month. Babs immediately cautions that if Nathan bails, she's not keeping the baby for Jenelle. Jenelle says she'll keep this one, then she leaves to rub it in Jace's face. Jenelle tells Jace that the baby is only an inch big, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't understand that he thinks the baby will come out of her an inch big. She then tells her first born that he stole all of her food. He doesn't care and shrugs off the allegations by saying, "I was so hungry". Oh Barbara, you're doing an alright job. He's adorable, and pretty smart, too. Can you get him to quit dropping F-bombs, though? Jenelle keeps pretending that Jace and this kid will have a close relationship. Remember last month when she borught Jace to her abortion? That was cute, too. Jenelle is having a boy and naming it Kaiser (WHY!?), but had it been a girl, her name would have been Lydia Marie. Barbara wishes should would pick a french middle name.......... crickets. crickets. Next, Jenelle proposes the name Leighton, like Blair Waldorf, Leighton Meester... Barbara cackles, "Hey LAY! Wanna go LAY down? Ha Ha Ha!"What. A. Mess!
Listening to Nathan read is like >>>>> HAHA! Oh shock of my life, Jenelle "didn't care" when she was pregnant for Jace. I can't wait for him to watch this back and hear that. Now, they are bickering about how imperfect Jenelle finds Nathan. #TrueLove
Leah is still whining about her husband's absence. They show a clip that's probably supposed to make us feel for her, but its really just a clip from any mothers average day. Next, Leah takes the children to the wheelchair lesson/practice? I'm not sure what to call it. Ali is learning to get around in her wheelchair and part of the curriculum is chasing her sister in the parking lot. It's a cute scene. I have to ask, who tf is Grace? I would really like to see Leah get a full makeover - head to toe, wardrobe included. Wardrobe especially.
Leah is dropping her twins off to their dad and updating him on the wheelchair process. I'm with Corey, let's not push the wheelchair on a child who CAN walk. Leah and Coreys children simply cannot and will not stay in their car seats. This is a sad episode for car seats. Corey decides its time to begin spanking. Leah announces she's BEEN "wearing their butts out". Hmm.. Well.
Leah and her mom are having pizza together and gossiping about Ali in her wheelchair. Now, she's talking about the martial issues between herself and Jeremy. Unfortunately, Momma Dawn is not being the voice of reason, she's backing Leah on this "Don't go to work. Stay home, don't make money, and let me nag you all day" schtick. Leah, no one is on your side. These are the complaints of an immature, tunnel-visioned, child. Your husband is the best any of us can hope for.
Leah is on the phone crying to her newlywed friend and telling her that things have become DIRE, according to her, regarding her marriage. She's very emtional and shes speaking very poorly of her husband. OH SHIT- Jeremy dropped the big D. He said he'd file for divorce, but she wants counseling. She says he's changed and she didn't know he was like this... Maybe you'd know your husband better had you actually dated him, but you didn't. You moved in with him immediately, after meeting on Facebook and immediately got pregnant. Rush rush rush.
Next week:
Leah flirts with Corey, her ex-husband
Chelsea complains that Adam is parenting
Isaac meets his new brother
Jenelle makes excuses for Nathan getting another DUI?
Kailyn and Javi are in bed discussing the fact that she hasnt yet gotten excited about her baby. She's still talking about Jo and her mom not attending the wedding they werent invited to. I'm still bored. Next.
Isaac is the only thing I enjoy in Kailyns scenes. He's really cute. his time with Jo is really rubbing off on him, thank God.
Okay, the new storyline is Kailyns mom. She called "randomly" and asked if she could crash at Kailyns for a while. I think they'll let her because Kailyn needs something to complain about. Moment of honesty, "I'm kind of bitter". Nooooooooooo! Truer words have never been spoken.
Oh heres a scene of Jo parenting Isaac and interacting with him. I love that.
Oh here's an awkward call between Kailyn and her mom. I hate that. Yeah- she's moving in next week. Indefinitely. Ugh, her mom is already talking down to her on the phone. Oh God, Kailyn is fucking crying. Stop putting yourself in these situations you fucktard. This whole conversation is so fucking fake I'm going to barf. Her mom is trying SOOOOO hard to sound like she loves and cares for her daughter but where has she been for 3 years? Ha! BYE!
Chelsea is preparing to take her state board exam, which is ALMOST a new storyline for her. She already has a job. Meanwhile, Adams lawyer finally responded so theres another scene of Chelsea and Papa Randy talking about "court documents".
Aubree is the cutest child thats ever been on any season of Teen Mom any thing, but she's having quite the meltdown. As my mother would say, "She is cruisin for a bruisin'!"I have to say, Chelsea keeps her cool pretty well, but unfortunately she does relinquish her authority by saying, "I'm calling your grandpa!" There's no perfect parent and theres no one right way to parent, and calling your parent when you are stressed is fine, but I don't think I'd have threatened her with her grandparents. Props to her either way, she kept her cool under pressure.
Excuse me>>>> after that hot mess of a meltdown Chelsea is taking her child for ice cream? WTF even? Omg. This is how a "chelsea" is sculpted. Aaaaaadumb talk. A moment of honesty, "I don't like it because I don't like not being in control". Ooops! Aubree got her first brain freeze. Back to boring chatter regarding Adam and court. I d o n ' t c a r e I d o n ' t c a r e I d o n ' t c a r e !
Chelsea and her dad are having lunch, what do you want to bet -- yeah! We're talking about court papers and Adam and visitation. Adam is getting his every-other weekend, but Chelsea is getting her stipulation of monitored visits and no driving! No, Adam and his 15 DUIs can't drive with Aubree. Apparently, this is temporary on a 3-month trial. If Adam breaks the rules, this all reverts back to the old agreement of Chelsea only. Personally, I am elated for Aubree because no matter where her father is or when he shows or doesn't, she gets quality time with his side of the family. It's about grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins, too.
Jenelle immediately says she's 2-3 weeks pregnant. She's keeping it in her back pocket. Nathan is dressed very oddly and also he is excited.
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| I SEEN YA WIFF YA HUSBAND |
Jenelle hasn't told her mom about her pregnancy, not because of her ultrasound but because she never sees Barbara and Jace. There's something weird going on with Nathans hair, will the real Slim Shady please stand up? Ultrasounds are old hat for Jenelle. She's had so many.... She's still talking about that baby she DIDN'T want... a month ago. #AbortionByTeenMom oh look - #LiesByTeenMom, she's going to quit smoking and she doesn't do drugs L-O-L. No questions about pregnancy, because duh.. she's had so many.
Jenelle is OH-So-Casual when she tells her mom thats shes pregnant, again. Thanks for the abortion fund, last month. Babs immediately cautions that if Nathan bails, she's not keeping the baby for Jenelle. Jenelle says she'll keep this one, then she leaves to rub it in Jace's face. Jenelle tells Jace that the baby is only an inch big, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't understand that he thinks the baby will come out of her an inch big. She then tells her first born that he stole all of her food. He doesn't care and shrugs off the allegations by saying, "I was so hungry". Oh Barbara, you're doing an alright job. He's adorable, and pretty smart, too. Can you get him to quit dropping F-bombs, though? Jenelle keeps pretending that Jace and this kid will have a close relationship. Remember last month when she borught Jace to her abortion? That was cute, too. Jenelle is having a boy and naming it Kaiser (WHY!?), but had it been a girl, her name would have been Lydia Marie. Barbara wishes should would pick a french middle name.......... crickets. crickets. Next, Jenelle proposes the name Leighton, like Blair Waldorf, Leighton Meester... Barbara cackles, "Hey LAY! Wanna go LAY down? Ha Ha Ha!"What. A. Mess!
Listening to Nathan read is like >>>>> HAHA! Oh shock of my life, Jenelle "didn't care" when she was pregnant for Jace. I can't wait for him to watch this back and hear that. Now, they are bickering about how imperfect Jenelle finds Nathan. #TrueLove
Leah is still whining about her husband's absence. They show a clip that's probably supposed to make us feel for her, but its really just a clip from any mothers average day. Next, Leah takes the children to the wheelchair lesson/practice? I'm not sure what to call it. Ali is learning to get around in her wheelchair and part of the curriculum is chasing her sister in the parking lot. It's a cute scene. I have to ask, who tf is Grace? I would really like to see Leah get a full makeover - head to toe, wardrobe included. Wardrobe especially.
Leah is dropping her twins off to their dad and updating him on the wheelchair process. I'm with Corey, let's not push the wheelchair on a child who CAN walk. Leah and Coreys children simply cannot and will not stay in their car seats. This is a sad episode for car seats. Corey decides its time to begin spanking. Leah announces she's BEEN "wearing their butts out". Hmm.. Well.
Leah and her mom are having pizza together and gossiping about Ali in her wheelchair. Now, she's talking about the martial issues between herself and Jeremy. Unfortunately, Momma Dawn is not being the voice of reason, she's backing Leah on this "Don't go to work. Stay home, don't make money, and let me nag you all day" schtick. Leah, no one is on your side. These are the complaints of an immature, tunnel-visioned, child. Your husband is the best any of us can hope for.
Leah is on the phone crying to her newlywed friend and telling her that things have become DIRE, according to her, regarding her marriage. She's very emtional and shes speaking very poorly of her husband. OH SHIT- Jeremy dropped the big D. He said he'd file for divorce, but she wants counseling. She says he's changed and she didn't know he was like this... Maybe you'd know your husband better had you actually dated him, but you didn't. You moved in with him immediately, after meeting on Facebook and immediately got pregnant. Rush rush rush.
Next week:
Leah flirts with Corey, her ex-husband
Chelsea complains that Adam is parenting
Isaac meets his new brother
Jenelle makes excuses for Nathan getting another DUI?
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Teen Mom 2:
Kailyn:"I wish I had known I was going to be pregnant for MY big wedding".
(She means her vow renewal)
Javi: Well, we didn't plan on being pregnant.
Kailyn: OH WE DIDNT?!
Javi: No... ma'am?
Kailyn: I didn't PURPOSELY take my birth control out?!
(She means her vow renewal)
Javi: Well, we didn't plan on being pregnant.
Kailyn: OH WE DIDNT?!
Javi: No... ma'am?
Kailyn: I didn't PURPOSELY take my birth control out?!
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Teen Mom2: Let's Get Sassy!
Leah is taking her daughter to headstart school. I don't know she actually attends Headstart, but I know that is the reason she is going before her sister is enrolled... she needs a head start. Some how, Leah manages to get herself, her husband, and ALi ready and in the car long before she would qualify as "being late". Maybe she could give Chelsea a crash course? I don't think Chelsea has EVER accomplished this, even with all the many, many, many first days of school she and her daughter have had.
The girls are going to their dads house for the weekend, but Leah goes to pick Ali up concurrently so she can hear about her first day from Ali and the teacher. The amount of seamless coparenting here is obnoxiously perfect. Though they are eskimo brothers, Corey and Jeremy really get along like friends, and no one calls Leah a whore, even though she's only been with 7 guys in 21 years of life. (This was HER word on a reunion, so you know the boys multiplied that number by 3 and agreed to never discuss it on national TV again). Side Note: If you're doing the math, That was her first boyfriend, Robbie, Corey, twins (on 16 & pregnant), marriage (on Teen Mom2), Robbie again, divorce, Jeremy, Corey, Jeremy, marriage, third baby, 21st birthday. So where did the other 4 fellas come in? Back to the show...
Ali has been in school for a few weeks now, and it is Corey's night with the twins. His parents are there to visit with the twins and hear all about Ali's schooling. Her answers are indicative that she will take after her father. "Do you like school?" Yea. "Do you learn things?" No. "Whats fun about it?" should shrug. Corey's dad expresses concern that Aliyah (spelling?) doesn't feel left out because Ali gets so much more attention (doctors visits, trips for doctors visits, schooling, etc). Corey says he is aware of the situation and has noticed her acting out.
Cute scene of Corey playing with the girls - cut to Leah iChatting with her BFF who now resides in Vegas. They talk weather and hair and Ali in school. They discuss Corey's progress in exiting his perpetual state of denial. It's nice that they can continue their friendship.
Cruella and her husband, Javi are discussing her treatment of his family, her bridesmaid. She is hard-nosed bitchy about it. She's also found a way to make this about "poor me", "I've never had to deal with other peoples opinions. I don't have a family. I don't have a mom or dad." False. You have both. I've seen them both on this show. Also, you have to respect Javi's opinion all the time... Who am I kidding?! She asks her son to leave the room and play upstairs. He says NO! #Sassy! Everytime Big Foot says something like "I don't want anything to ruin our wedding" I say outloud, "Vow Renewal."
Bessie is at a doctors appointment and Isaac is hamming it up. He's super cute. He's ready to have the baby out, and he tells the doctor he thinks it's in his moms tummy. Bessie is so hungry, she now wants to eat her placenta. Her doctor is pretty sure she drove here from crazytown. Her doctor thinks she should switch to a doctor over in crazytown, because it's a 2 hour drive and that is not recommended during labor.
Ms. Piggy and her bridesmaid think it's cute that all of her VOW RENEWAL photos will have her baby bump. They also enjoy that her mother is not invited to the VOW RENEWAL that MTV is paying for. The more they describe her mother, the more it sounds like they are describing HER. Ah well, you hate in others what you hate in yourself, so... there you go.
Wow, trying on wedding dresses, she's choosing BLINDING white, not ecru. She needs a dress that shows off her bump so that you can tell she's pregnant. Are we done with her yet? Ugh,
Jenelle has a new darker 'do and she tells her mom that she has no friends and doesn't come to see her mom or son much because she's with Nathan. Barbara has her antennas on and asks if Jenelle thinks this might sound like a controlling relationship. Jenelle responds that it's, like, obviously, totally, NOT a controlling relationship because he ALLOWS her to do lots of stuff. Duh. She doesn't call or talkto Babs because she has no concerns, everything in her life is smooth sailing. Barbara is like... am I a lifeline or a friend? Also, don't you want to check on your son? Ever? Who am I kidding?! Babs makes plans for a girls day on the beach!
Jenelle had an emergency appendectomy. Nathan took the opportunity to argue with Barbara about taxes. Of course, if you hear Jenelle tell it, Barbara is pushy and out of control, Nathan is a saint. If you listen to the voicemail from Barbara, she's a litle sassy, but kind of just a fed-up really caring mother. She accurately assesses Nathan as a "pretty boy version of Courtland" who, by the way, was just the white version of Kieffer. Babs calls, again, to tell Jenelle how disappointed she is that yet AGAIN Jenelle is choosing a random fucking guy over her mother and her son. I highly suspect that Nathan and Barbaras REAL argument was not about taxes, but was about him poking his nose around in her finances. This is the way the conversation sounds... Jenelle hurries Babs off the phone, calling her DUMB, she's probably not ALLOWED to discuss this while filming. #ForeverDesperate Tori is laughing her ass off, because if you watch Titanic 5 times in a row, you start to find the subtle humor in the decisions you KNOW will be disastrous. "You idiot! Don't ignore the iceberg warnings... Okay, watch and see what happens. Dumb ass"
Tori has really gained some weight, I fully believe she's clean and sober. However, I don't feel the same about Jenelle. Either way, they are still talking. There are all of these technical reasons that Nathan doesn't have money. He's now walking around shirtless. #UnderwearModel He hardly puts on a dishrag of a shirt. Now, they are discussing ghosts of boyfriends past. Jenelle describes them as follows:
Courtland (HER HUSBAND) is nice, but "thuggish". Gary is respectful, but BLUNT. Keiffer just didn't like talking to Barbara. Lets revisit them, too, shall we? Courtland and Jenelle did drugs together. They were arrested multiples times together for beating each other up, sometimes with broken furniture, and she spent the entire last episode "in fear" of seeing him in a court room, but he was nice. Gary dated other girls while she was in rehab and gave away her dog. Also, he sold her out to magazines and dogged her alllllll day on the internet. She claims he also beat her up, at least once. He was nice. Then, there is the fan favorite: Kieffer! Should I even begin? She claims he got her hooked on heroin. We WATCHED them on national television do heroin together. They were arrested together on multiple occasions. If I were him, I'd avoid your mom, too. Tori doesn't understand why a reasonable woman like Babs is irrationally hating on this successful business manwho was stripped of custody for reasons unknown.
Jenelle is having Babs over for emergency discussion about Courtland's release. Nathan interjects anytime Jenelle responds to a direct question. #Controlling. He's really sassy with Barbara. Oh, he's really becoming aggressive. Barbara really seems like she has some legitimate concerns, Nathan throws her out. He has a nice point about the amount of curse words used in front of the baby, but he crossed the line when he tell Barbara she was a terrible mother, blames her for Jenelle's drug problems, accused her of kidnapping Jace and keeping him from Jenelle, and a few other things. Sir, you do NOT know what you're talking about. Also, what does this guy know about parenting? He lost custody and visitation of his child. Jenelle does NOT stick up for her mother, instead she asks her mother to leave. Jace witnesses it all.
Chelsea mentions something about Adam and then takes her daughter to check the mail. Aubree is super cute. Like, mega, ultra, ridiculously cute. Also, she has been watching Chelsea very closely. Chelsea/Aubree says to Randy/Chelsea: I don't have money. Give me some. Chelsea is too distracted to notice because Adam sent her some kind of letter that I'm pretty sure he's sent 100 times since season 1. She calls Papa Randilicious immediately. After the giant judicial let down that was Kailyn Lowry vs. Jo Rivera, I couldn't care less about court papers. I have lost all faith in the wheels of justice.
Chelsea invites a friend over so she can film a scene expressing her disgust for the person she chose to be the father of her child. His disco stick is tainted now, with the love nectar of a new baby momma, so Chelsea has momentarily decided to set-aside her lust in exchange for blinding rage: Like, GO AWAY! Her friend monotones: He needs to leave you alone. --- False! He needs to do the opposite of leave her alone. He needs to be a consist source of parenting in his daughters life, because she needs her mother AND her father. Keeping this in perspective, if Adam wanted LESS involvement in his daughters life, they'd film scenes bitching about that. Oh! THANK YOU! THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS! I have said for 5 seasons now, please for the love of all you hold dear in life, stop trashing the opposite parent in front of your child(ren)! Aubree just busted ALL in her moms conversation, "Are you talking about my dad?" I hope this is a lesson learned, but I fear that it is not.
Adam is filming a scene with some friends who would never ask these questions in real life. Adam is pretty sure Chelsea isn't over him. He's probably correct, but he's super skeezy because he's taking so much pride in it. Ugh. I want Chelsea to marry a brain surgeon who is 6' 5" and ruggedly handsome. Maybe he minored in rocket science for funsies because he's super smart and super cool. Then, old bald Adam and his 15 DUIs will STFU about how much Chelsea wishes she could have him. Ugh. #DareToDream
Chelsea and her dad are at his casa discussing her motion to object to Adam's request for STATE GUIDELINES of shared custody. Adam is requesting every other weekend, and 2 weeks in the summer. MORE. THAN. REASONABLE! This is actually what most people agree to. She wants him supervised by his parents at their house every other weekend for one night or every three weeks for 2 nights. I don't know. She needs a dad, but he needs to stop drinking and driving. Unfortunately, my faith in the justice system has escaped me, so I highly doubt that this is going to play out anyway I personally believe that it should. Look on the bright side, Chelsea, he's going to jail one day for all these DUIs anyway, and you can keep Aubree all to yourself then. Papa reduces Chelsea to tears because he tells is like it is: Aubree thinks a dad is someone who comes by every 2 weeks and takes a picture with you. LOL! SASSY! Chelsea thinks thats so sad, because she chose this shitty guy to be the father of her child. Chica-- search out a successful loving caring man who will also love and care for your child. ASAP! Then, she will feel the love of two parents and see what love is! Her dad will be lagniappe. Ehh.... Easier said than done.
Next Week:
Jenelle continues widening the rift between herself and Barbara by using the tool that is Nathan.
Chelsea wants to use Adams DUIs against him in court.
Leah wants to go to martial counseling.
Kailyn complains.
The girls are going to their dads house for the weekend, but Leah goes to pick Ali up concurrently so she can hear about her first day from Ali and the teacher. The amount of seamless coparenting here is obnoxiously perfect. Though they are eskimo brothers, Corey and Jeremy really get along like friends, and no one calls Leah a whore, even though she's only been with 7 guys in 21 years of life. (This was HER word on a reunion, so you know the boys multiplied that number by 3 and agreed to never discuss it on national TV again). Side Note: If you're doing the math, That was her first boyfriend, Robbie, Corey, twins (on 16 & pregnant), marriage (on Teen Mom2), Robbie again, divorce, Jeremy, Corey, Jeremy, marriage, third baby, 21st birthday. So where did the other 4 fellas come in? Back to the show...
Ali has been in school for a few weeks now, and it is Corey's night with the twins. His parents are there to visit with the twins and hear all about Ali's schooling. Her answers are indicative that she will take after her father. "Do you like school?" Yea. "Do you learn things?" No. "Whats fun about it?" should shrug. Corey's dad expresses concern that Aliyah (spelling?) doesn't feel left out because Ali gets so much more attention (doctors visits, trips for doctors visits, schooling, etc). Corey says he is aware of the situation and has noticed her acting out.
Cute scene of Corey playing with the girls - cut to Leah iChatting with her BFF who now resides in Vegas. They talk weather and hair and Ali in school. They discuss Corey's progress in exiting his perpetual state of denial. It's nice that they can continue their friendship.
Cruella and her husband, Javi are discussing her treatment of his family, her bridesmaid. She is hard-nosed bitchy about it. She's also found a way to make this about "poor me", "I've never had to deal with other peoples opinions. I don't have a family. I don't have a mom or dad." False. You have both. I've seen them both on this show. Also, you have to respect Javi's opinion all the time... Who am I kidding?! She asks her son to leave the room and play upstairs. He says NO! #Sassy! Everytime Big Foot says something like "I don't want anything to ruin our wedding" I say outloud, "Vow Renewal."
Bessie is at a doctors appointment and Isaac is hamming it up. He's super cute. He's ready to have the baby out, and he tells the doctor he thinks it's in his moms tummy. Bessie is so hungry, she now wants to eat her placenta. Her doctor is pretty sure she drove here from crazytown. Her doctor thinks she should switch to a doctor over in crazytown, because it's a 2 hour drive and that is not recommended during labor.
Ms. Piggy and her bridesmaid think it's cute that all of her VOW RENEWAL photos will have her baby bump. They also enjoy that her mother is not invited to the VOW RENEWAL that MTV is paying for. The more they describe her mother, the more it sounds like they are describing HER. Ah well, you hate in others what you hate in yourself, so... there you go.
Wow, trying on wedding dresses, she's choosing BLINDING white, not ecru. She needs a dress that shows off her bump so that you can tell she's pregnant. Are we done with her yet? Ugh,
Jenelle has a new darker 'do and she tells her mom that she has no friends and doesn't come to see her mom or son much because she's with Nathan. Barbara has her antennas on and asks if Jenelle thinks this might sound like a controlling relationship. Jenelle responds that it's, like, obviously, totally, NOT a controlling relationship because he ALLOWS her to do lots of stuff. Duh. She doesn't call or talkto Babs because she has no concerns, everything in her life is smooth sailing. Barbara is like... am I a lifeline or a friend? Also, don't you want to check on your son? Ever? Who am I kidding?! Babs makes plans for a girls day on the beach!
Jenelle had an emergency appendectomy. Nathan took the opportunity to argue with Barbara about taxes. Of course, if you hear Jenelle tell it, Barbara is pushy and out of control, Nathan is a saint. If you listen to the voicemail from Barbara, she's a litle sassy, but kind of just a fed-up really caring mother. She accurately assesses Nathan as a "pretty boy version of Courtland" who, by the way, was just the white version of Kieffer. Babs calls, again, to tell Jenelle how disappointed she is that yet AGAIN Jenelle is choosing a random fucking guy over her mother and her son. I highly suspect that Nathan and Barbaras REAL argument was not about taxes, but was about him poking his nose around in her finances. This is the way the conversation sounds... Jenelle hurries Babs off the phone, calling her DUMB, she's probably not ALLOWED to discuss this while filming. #ForeverDesperate Tori is laughing her ass off, because if you watch Titanic 5 times in a row, you start to find the subtle humor in the decisions you KNOW will be disastrous. "You idiot! Don't ignore the iceberg warnings... Okay, watch and see what happens. Dumb ass"
Tori has really gained some weight, I fully believe she's clean and sober. However, I don't feel the same about Jenelle. Either way, they are still talking. There are all of these technical reasons that Nathan doesn't have money. He's now walking around shirtless. #UnderwearModel He hardly puts on a dishrag of a shirt. Now, they are discussing ghosts of boyfriends past. Jenelle describes them as follows:
Courtland (HER HUSBAND) is nice, but "thuggish". Gary is respectful, but BLUNT. Keiffer just didn't like talking to Barbara. Lets revisit them, too, shall we? Courtland and Jenelle did drugs together. They were arrested multiples times together for beating each other up, sometimes with broken furniture, and she spent the entire last episode "in fear" of seeing him in a court room, but he was nice. Gary dated other girls while she was in rehab and gave away her dog. Also, he sold her out to magazines and dogged her alllllll day on the internet. She claims he also beat her up, at least once. He was nice. Then, there is the fan favorite: Kieffer! Should I even begin? She claims he got her hooked on heroin. We WATCHED them on national television do heroin together. They were arrested together on multiple occasions. If I were him, I'd avoid your mom, too. Tori doesn't understand why a reasonable woman like Babs is irrationally hating on this successful business man
Jenelle is having Babs over for emergency discussion about Courtland's release. Nathan interjects anytime Jenelle responds to a direct question. #Controlling. He's really sassy with Barbara. Oh, he's really becoming aggressive. Barbara really seems like she has some legitimate concerns, Nathan throws her out. He has a nice point about the amount of curse words used in front of the baby, but he crossed the line when he tell Barbara she was a terrible mother, blames her for Jenelle's drug problems, accused her of kidnapping Jace and keeping him from Jenelle, and a few other things. Sir, you do NOT know what you're talking about. Also, what does this guy know about parenting? He lost custody and visitation of his child. Jenelle does NOT stick up for her mother, instead she asks her mother to leave. Jace witnesses it all.
Chelsea mentions something about Adam and then takes her daughter to check the mail. Aubree is super cute. Like, mega, ultra, ridiculously cute. Also, she has been watching Chelsea very closely. Chelsea/Aubree says to Randy/Chelsea: I don't have money. Give me some. Chelsea is too distracted to notice because Adam sent her some kind of letter that I'm pretty sure he's sent 100 times since season 1. She calls Papa Randilicious immediately. After the giant judicial let down that was Kailyn Lowry vs. Jo Rivera, I couldn't care less about court papers. I have lost all faith in the wheels of justice.
Chelsea invites a friend over so she can film a scene expressing her disgust for the person she chose to be the father of her child. His disco stick is tainted now, with the love nectar of a new baby momma, so Chelsea has momentarily decided to set-aside her lust in exchange for blinding rage: Like, GO AWAY! Her friend monotones: He needs to leave you alone. --- False! He needs to do the opposite of leave her alone. He needs to be a consist source of parenting in his daughters life, because she needs her mother AND her father. Keeping this in perspective, if Adam wanted LESS involvement in his daughters life, they'd film scenes bitching about that. Oh! THANK YOU! THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS! I have said for 5 seasons now, please for the love of all you hold dear in life, stop trashing the opposite parent in front of your child(ren)! Aubree just busted ALL in her moms conversation, "Are you talking about my dad?" I hope this is a lesson learned, but I fear that it is not.
Adam is filming a scene with some friends who would never ask these questions in real life. Adam is pretty sure Chelsea isn't over him. He's probably correct, but he's super skeezy because he's taking so much pride in it. Ugh. I want Chelsea to marry a brain surgeon who is 6' 5" and ruggedly handsome. Maybe he minored in rocket science for funsies because he's super smart and super cool. Then, old bald Adam and his 15 DUIs will STFU about how much Chelsea wishes she could have him. Ugh. #DareToDream
Chelsea and her dad are at his casa discussing her motion to object to Adam's request for STATE GUIDELINES of shared custody. Adam is requesting every other weekend, and 2 weeks in the summer. MORE. THAN. REASONABLE! This is actually what most people agree to. She wants him supervised by his parents at their house every other weekend for one night or every three weeks for 2 nights. I don't know. She needs a dad, but he needs to stop drinking and driving. Unfortunately, my faith in the justice system has escaped me, so I highly doubt that this is going to play out anyway I personally believe that it should. Look on the bright side, Chelsea, he's going to jail one day for all these DUIs anyway, and you can keep Aubree all to yourself then. Papa reduces Chelsea to tears because he tells is like it is: Aubree thinks a dad is someone who comes by every 2 weeks and takes a picture with you. LOL! SASSY! Chelsea thinks thats so sad, because she chose this shitty guy to be the father of her child. Chica-- search out a successful loving caring man who will also love and care for your child. ASAP! Then, she will feel the love of two parents and see what love is! Her dad will be lagniappe. Ehh.... Easier said than done.
Next Week:
Jenelle continues widening the rift between herself and Barbara by using the tool that is Nathan.
Chelsea wants to use Adams DUIs against him in court.
Leah wants to go to martial counseling.
Kailyn complains.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Jenelle's Pregnant??
I tuned in 2 minutes late and the first words I hear are: "It's, like, have I even waited long enough for my body to recover from the abortion to care a child that can be healthy?" OMG. Why is God allowing this? There are just so many women who wish they could get pregnant and this girl treats them like Don Mattingly rookie cards. Jenelle's friend Tori just can't comprehend why this is GOOD news? I can't either.
Jenelle scheduled an appointment because isn't sure "if I have a dead fetus inside of me or if I am pregnat with YOUR baby or if I'm still pregnant with my husband's child". The amount of class I've found in that statement is undeniable.
Babs is sitting outside on the front lawn, because there is a monster in her home. Jace is repetitively kicking the front screen door open. Babs tells him to knock it off and he's like "Fuck this! Fuck you! Fuck around! Quit fucking playing with me! I'm Jace Evans, lady. Fuck your front door!" Barbara responds, "Dont say those potty words, or you'll know what happens!" Guess what happens? He LOCKED HER ASS OUT, is what happened! She didn't even have a hide-a-key! Nothing. She stood at her front door begging her grandson to let her back in. Then, when he did, she went and sat back down on the lawn. He half-heartedly apologized. I SEE HOW JENELLE BECAME JENELLE!
It's time for Jenelle's ultrasound. She can't even pretend to not know what to expect. At this point, she could run the machine herself. The nurse tells her that there's no one in her uterus and Nathan is like "Oh, two or three times a day there IS someone in there!" I barfed.
Jenelle and Nathan are glad that the abortion pill isn't affecting their baby and that the abortion pill worked so she isn't pregnant with her husband's baby. They vow to try again to get pregnant with their own child. The rest of the world vows to shun the US for celebrating this conversation on national TV.
Babs is really happy that Jenelle is not pregnant. Nathan thinks he wasted 4 hours picking out names. Jenelle is like --- no we're doing this. We want this. Babs is like, impending jail time and being married to someone else is not the right time for this. Jenelle is resolute. Jace joins the gang for this very adult conversation. He was sweating this new baby so hard...
Kailyn quit her job, because she owns two houses. She's now on her way back to house number 1 in order to try and enlist a judge to aid her in kidnapping her son. Her prisoner husband, Javi, mentions a headache and Kailyn is like NO! ME! I am uncomfortable. I am pregnant. Me me me me me! She swears that Jo will be able to keep his current insurance plan Jo will still have the same amount of time with Isaac.
Isaac knocks on his dad's door and says "Let me in! I have diarrhea!" Everyone laughs. Jo invites Kailyn inside to discuss a compromise. He wants extra overnight visits. Kailyn is making a huge deal over this ONE specific night because she doesn't think she should have to pay tuition? I'm confused. i thought the conversation was going well, but Kailyn storms off and begins hysterically crying to her husband about the word "petty". To break down the nonsense: Kailyn wants to enroll her son in a pre-school that is open Mon-Thursday four weeks a month. She will have him in school Mon-Wednesday. This cuts out 4 days each month meaning her son attends school 12 days each month. Jo wants 2 extra days with his son each month. This would mean the child misses 6 days of school each month and attends school 10 days per month. So Kailyn WILL pay tuition for 12 days of school, but not 10. I'd ask why Jo is not helping to pay for tuition, but in an earlier season he mentioned that he is against pre-schooling and wants his son to spend the formative years around family. Jo, this kid spends so much time with Kailyn Lowry... he NEEDS that time in pre-school. Trust. Me.
Kailyn is going before the judge to confess that she went behind his/her back and purchased a house out of state and moved. She hollers that looking at Jo will set her off today. GROSS! A judge gave Kailyn what she wants. UGHHHHH It's okay, though, because if I've learned one thing about watching Kailyn Lowry on Teen Mom2 for 5 seasons, it is that she is NEVER ever ever ever happy. Ever. No matter what she is given, she is eternally sour. This makes me warm and fuzzy inside.
Kailyn and Jo are exchanging the child at Ross Dress for Less. Kailyn is already bitching that she didn't get everything she wanted.
Married: check
Pregnant: check
Home owner: check
Domiciliary: check
Moved son hours from father: check
What did she not get? I'm confused? Kailyn is the worst. Be happy for once in your life, cunt.
Aubree is having her birthday at school. Chelsea is a carrot top and she's talking about Adam having a new baby on her birthday. She's annoyed because SHE wanted a family and Adam is, like, having children with other people... She's like flirty with him so she doesn't understand. Also, half-siblings are, like, sub-par. Side-Note: Last week, in real time, Adam Lind smashed a Corvette into an elderly couple and was pulled form the wreckage before the car burst into flames. The elderly couple (in their 80's!) have broken bones. Adam is fine and being charged with 5 crimes... Uhhh he's had like 100 DUI's and has two children. WTF is he doing with a Corvette? Also, he has no license. Also, there were no drugs or alcohol involved -- just his sheer stupidity. Back to Teen Mom: Chelsea is pining for a Forever Family with Adam. Why?
Chelsea is getting everything ready for Aubree's birthday party. She's turning 4 and she's super over her mom. I think Chelsea is a really great mom, over-all. She seems to really enjoy her daughter and genuinely care about her. Unfortunately, she's still talking about Adam Lind. Apparently, they've invited Adam over to help prepare for the party under the condition that he not mention the birth of his new child.
Adam shows up in his now burnt-to-a-crisp Corvette, to bake cake pops. Aubree goes outside to get her gift from the car, but first, she criticizes Adam's parking skills. Chelsea and Adam haven't even said hello. Aubree opens her gift and before she realizes what it is, Chelsea blurts out "She already has that!" Manner, asshat. Manners. Say thank you and exchange it later, if you MUST. Chelsea starts talking about how THEY did this and THEY make cute kids. Adam is like--- I'm taking her to a sane non-obsessive environment. Aubree really wants to go with her dad. Chelsea tries to bribe her to stay by upstaging Adam's gift with a large stuffed pony.
Aubree's party is pink and black and everything Pinterest has to offer. She has a huge Rapunzel bouncy castle. I think there's only one other child at the party and everyone else is a 20-something friend of Chelsea talking about Chelsea. Oh, I take it back, there are some other kids there-- but it IS mostly adults. It's a cute party.
Leah's husband is coming home from his month long job-- where he recently fainted. Leah is worried.
Leah is taking her purple extensions and her husband to a very strict doctor to see about his recurring headaches. They are not getting along and it is a stressful day.
Leah and her husband are back home and all of his tests came back normal. He probably fainted from stress. The bigger and more interesting component of this scene is that everytime the camera pans to Leah, someone in her family is holding a different one of her clip-in extensions. LOL! She is either shedding them like crazy or giving them to people are toys and love tokens. I don't know. It;s very Britney 2007: You want a piece of me? I think her hausband just tried to put one back on her head. It looked like putting tinsel on a Christmas tree. I think the kids are germ-xing after playing in their moms weave. Jeremy will stay home for a while.
Next Week on Teen Mom2:
Jenelle goes to court, Tori gets rid of her McDonalds 'do
Chelsea cries about Adams new baby
Leah enrolls he kids in school
Kailyn is miserable
Jenelle scheduled an appointment because isn't sure "if I have a dead fetus inside of me or if I am pregnat with YOUR baby or if I'm still pregnant with my husband's child". The amount of class I've found in that statement is undeniable.
Babs is sitting outside on the front lawn, because there is a monster in her home. Jace is repetitively kicking the front screen door open. Babs tells him to knock it off and he's like "Fuck this! Fuck you! Fuck around! Quit fucking playing with me! I'm Jace Evans, lady. Fuck your front door!" Barbara responds, "Dont say those potty words, or you'll know what happens!" Guess what happens? He LOCKED HER ASS OUT, is what happened! She didn't even have a hide-a-key! Nothing. She stood at her front door begging her grandson to let her back in. Then, when he did, she went and sat back down on the lawn. He half-heartedly apologized. I SEE HOW JENELLE BECAME JENELLE!
It's time for Jenelle's ultrasound. She can't even pretend to not know what to expect. At this point, she could run the machine herself. The nurse tells her that there's no one in her uterus and Nathan is like "Oh, two or three times a day there IS someone in there!" I barfed.
Jenelle and Nathan are glad that the abortion pill isn't affecting their baby and that the abortion pill worked so she isn't pregnant with her husband's baby. They vow to try again to get pregnant with their own child. The rest of the world vows to shun the US for celebrating this conversation on national TV.
Babs is really happy that Jenelle is not pregnant. Nathan thinks he wasted 4 hours picking out names. Jenelle is like --- no we're doing this. We want this. Babs is like, impending jail time and being married to someone else is not the right time for this. Jenelle is resolute. Jace joins the gang for this very adult conversation. He was sweating this new baby so hard...
Kailyn quit her job, because she owns two houses. She's now on her way back to house number 1 in order to try and enlist a judge to aid her in kidnapping her son. Her
Isaac knocks on his dad's door and says "Let me in! I have diarrhea!" Everyone laughs. Jo invites Kailyn inside to discuss a compromise. He wants extra overnight visits. Kailyn is making a huge deal over this ONE specific night because she doesn't think she should have to pay tuition? I'm confused. i thought the conversation was going well, but Kailyn storms off and begins hysterically crying to her husband about the word "petty". To break down the nonsense: Kailyn wants to enroll her son in a pre-school that is open Mon-Thursday four weeks a month. She will have him in school Mon-Wednesday. This cuts out 4 days each month meaning her son attends school 12 days each month. Jo wants 2 extra days with his son each month. This would mean the child misses 6 days of school each month and attends school 10 days per month. So Kailyn WILL pay tuition for 12 days of school, but not 10. I'd ask why Jo is not helping to pay for tuition, but in an earlier season he mentioned that he is against pre-schooling and wants his son to spend the formative years around family. Jo, this kid spends so much time with Kailyn Lowry... he NEEDS that time in pre-school. Trust. Me.
Kailyn is going before the judge to confess that she went behind his/her back and purchased a house out of state and moved. She hollers that looking at Jo will set her off today. GROSS! A judge gave Kailyn what she wants. UGHHHHH It's okay, though, because if I've learned one thing about watching Kailyn Lowry on Teen Mom2 for 5 seasons, it is that she is NEVER ever ever ever happy. Ever. No matter what she is given, she is eternally sour. This makes me warm and fuzzy inside.
Kailyn and Jo are exchanging the child at Ross Dress for Less. Kailyn is already bitching that she didn't get everything she wanted.
Married: check
Pregnant: check
Home owner: check
Domiciliary: check
Moved son hours from father: check
What did she not get? I'm confused? Kailyn is the worst. Be happy for once in your life, cunt.
Aubree is having her birthday at school. Chelsea is a carrot top and she's talking about Adam having a new baby on her birthday. She's annoyed because SHE wanted a family and Adam is, like, having children with other people... She's like flirty with him so she doesn't understand. Also, half-siblings are, like, sub-par. Side-Note: Last week, in real time, Adam Lind smashed a Corvette into an elderly couple and was pulled form the wreckage before the car burst into flames. The elderly couple (in their 80's!) have broken bones. Adam is fine and being charged with 5 crimes... Uhhh he's had like 100 DUI's and has two children. WTF is he doing with a Corvette? Also, he has no license. Also, there were no drugs or alcohol involved -- just his sheer stupidity. Back to Teen Mom: Chelsea is pining for a Forever Family with Adam. Why?
Chelsea is getting everything ready for Aubree's birthday party. She's turning 4 and she's super over her mom. I think Chelsea is a really great mom, over-all. She seems to really enjoy her daughter and genuinely care about her. Unfortunately, she's still talking about Adam Lind. Apparently, they've invited Adam over to help prepare for the party under the condition that he not mention the birth of his new child.
Adam shows up in his now burnt-to-a-crisp Corvette, to bake cake pops. Aubree goes outside to get her gift from the car, but first, she criticizes Adam's parking skills. Chelsea and Adam haven't even said hello. Aubree opens her gift and before she realizes what it is, Chelsea blurts out "She already has that!" Manner, asshat. Manners. Say thank you and exchange it later, if you MUST. Chelsea starts talking about how THEY did this and THEY make cute kids. Adam is like--- I'm taking her to a sane non-obsessive environment. Aubree really wants to go with her dad. Chelsea tries to bribe her to stay by upstaging Adam's gift with a large stuffed pony.
Aubree's party is pink and black and everything Pinterest has to offer. She has a huge Rapunzel bouncy castle. I think there's only one other child at the party and everyone else is a 20-something friend of Chelsea talking about Chelsea. Oh, I take it back, there are some other kids there-- but it IS mostly adults. It's a cute party.
Leah's husband is coming home from his month long job-- where he recently fainted. Leah is worried.
Leah is taking her purple extensions and her husband to a very strict doctor to see about his recurring headaches. They are not getting along and it is a stressful day.
Leah and her husband are back home and all of his tests came back normal. He probably fainted from stress. The bigger and more interesting component of this scene is that everytime the camera pans to Leah, someone in her family is holding a different one of her clip-in extensions. LOL! She is either shedding them like crazy or giving them to people are toys and love tokens. I don't know. It;s very Britney 2007: You want a piece of me? I think her hausband just tried to put one back on her head. It looked like putting tinsel on a Christmas tree. I think the kids are germ-xing after playing in their moms weave. Jeremy will stay home for a while.
Next Week on Teen Mom2:
Jenelle goes to court, Tori gets rid of her McDonalds 'do
Chelsea cries about Adams new baby
Leah enrolls he kids in school
Kailyn is miserable
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Teen Mom: Jenelle Wants a Baby
You read that correctly. Jenelle Evans, had an abortion because it wasn't fair to her son. She got a new boyfriend, but is still married. She moved in with this new boyfriend within moments of meeting, and now they have decided they deserve - nay, NEED a baby.
Ugh.
I can't.
Ugh.
I can't.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Teen Mom 2- No one is bringing it!
Where is the excitement? The drama? The hilarity? This season is pretty lame and uneventful. Anyway, here's what's going on this week: nothing.
Jenelle, her mom, and Jace are having breakfast together. Jenelle and her mom talk legalities and hard core drugs before coffee-- and in front of Jace. Then, she tells Babs that she's moving in with her blind date from the other day. No one questions the timing because he's a model. Jenelle and her boyfriend are surprised that the "honeymoon" phase of their relationship has lasted so long -- a matter of weeks. I am surprised Jenelle and her husband of less than a year are not still in THEIR honeymoon phase. OMG - STOP THE PRESSES! Jenelle is packing things to move in with her underwear model and I've noticed she has THE SAME mass-produced art piece as I do. I must burn it tomorrow. My home can't look like a heorin den. I believe this is the house that Jenelle bought and had to sell immediately because - allegedly- the neighborhood wouldn't allow filming. I don't know how true that is, because we are seeing footage now. Hysterically, Nathan can't seem to rid himself of the feces, finally having to remove his shoe and throw it away. Is this a metaphor for what is to come? #Foreshadowing
Jace and Babs go to Jenelles new house and, you know what? It's nice! It's a nice house. Good for her. Ooooh the truth comes out! She is RENTING this house. Nathan is one of those high-pressure time-share reps. This explains how he got her to rent him such a nice home so quickly ... Plus she's codependent as fuck.
Babs and Jace go to Jenelles to hang out. Jenelles leopard paw tattoo sticking out of her daisy dukes makes me laugh, but not nearly as much as the I depth conversations about drugs that constantly happen around Jace. They discuss Jenelle almost dying from heroin overdose so casually. Jenelle does not take part in the conversation. It's like she's not in the room. It's really funny - and none of it is true. LOL
Kailyn is still the worst. She's house shopping prior to approval from the judge. She complains about finances and living situations, both of which are the result of her manipulative behavior. Girl, bye. I hate that people on television constantly say "real-a-tur". The word is "realtor". Kailyn is now taking her son to visit houses and telling him they can live there. #parenting How cute is Jo's son? (See what I did there? REALITY!) He's hysterical on the trampoline! Oh great--- Kailyn and Javi are making an offer on ta house in another state and they haven't even gotten court approval. Perhaps she will move and the judge will say, that's fine. Jo gets domiciliary custody. You can see him every other weekend. HAHAHA that'd make my day. I have open disdain for the whiney, manipulative, friendless victim that is Kailyn Wassherface. I do not care who knows it. To me, shees every hit as delusional as Farrah BackDoor. To go along with her half sleeve and full back, she gets a TRAMP STAMP of DISDAIN from me.
Jo is actually interacting with his son. They are playing and it's cute. Then, it's back to the Kailyn show. I refuse to recap anything regarding Kailyns "wedding" because MTV has already
Forced me to do this once. It is cruel and unusual punishment to make us watch this MEMEMEME fiasco again. More about moving or not moving. Buying a house to sell it. Wahn wahn wahn. Vute headband. Thanks for NOT wearing it on your forehead. This is not Burning Man.
Kailyn and Javi are boring me again. I like her braid. I cannot braid that way. #compliment
Chelsea is doing her moms makeup at make up school. Her friend Megan's mom and her mom are TWINS! Right down to the glasses and hair cut! Oh, lets talk about Adam! Surprisingly, it's mostly Chelsea's mom who keeps bringing him (and his NEW baby!) up and Chelsea is like SILENCE! Peasant.
Adam and his girlfriend are discussing their newborn and he takes the tender moment to get sassy about Chelsea. The didn't retain THAT much from the preschool orientation. Uh-oh! Adams girlfriend wants to go to Aubrees parent-teacher meetings. Ma'am , no. Just, no. Adam just wants a formalized visitation schedule. I think that's a good idea - for everyone. Adam really needs to stop comparing his girlfriend to Chelsea - to his girlfriends face.
Chelsea is taking the cutest child on Teen Mom, Aubree, to her first day of pre-school. It's the MILLIONTH first day of school Chelsea has filmed, so Aubree sings.
Chelsea AND Adam show up to pick Aubree up from her first day of preschool. It's nice that he made he effort. It's NOT cool that he invited her somewhere without asking Chelsea first.. AND it's Chelsea's birthday. I don't think it was to be ugly, I think it was because he's a moron.
Oh wait, Chelsea has another class to go to. Why could Aubree go with her dad while her mom goes to class? Instead, she's going to her grandmas. If they had a formal agreement he would have the right to first refusal (probably) and things like this wouldn't happen. Hmm.
Leah starts off by discussing Ali's wheelchair. Did I miss something? I thought the doctor said not to even get one until she needed it- years from now- to encourage walking? Leah is complaining about her husband having a stable job with steady work and mega pay. #NoOneRelates Momma Dawn is very emotional regarding the reality of Ali's situation. It's heartbreaking.
Corey and his wife rehash Ali's latest doctors appointment and subsequent results. Corey's wife is gorgeous! She's also well-behaved and appropriately supportive. She knows her place as step-mom and she shines in that role. I like her. STAMP OF APPROVAL!
Aleah (spelling?) is sassy as fuck. She needs a spanking. Thank God she has two dads... Or she's have twins at 16, too. Yes I know it skips a generation. Shut up.
Leah is probably selling her house and moving in order to have a handicap accessible home. I applied her forethought. Unfortunately, if she thinks she's lonely now -- moving 40 minutes away from her family will "show her the meaning of being lonely" #BACKSTREETSBACK
Jenelle, her mom, and Jace are having breakfast together. Jenelle and her mom talk legalities and hard core drugs before coffee-- and in front of Jace. Then, she tells Babs that she's moving in with her blind date from the other day. No one questions the timing because he's a model. Jenelle and her boyfriend are surprised that the "honeymoon" phase of their relationship has lasted so long -- a matter of weeks. I am surprised Jenelle and her husband of less than a year are not still in THEIR honeymoon phase. OMG - STOP THE PRESSES! Jenelle is packing things to move in with her underwear model and I've noticed she has THE SAME mass-produced art piece as I do. I must burn it tomorrow. My home can't look like a heorin den. I believe this is the house that Jenelle bought and had to sell immediately because - allegedly- the neighborhood wouldn't allow filming. I don't know how true that is, because we are seeing footage now. Hysterically, Nathan can't seem to rid himself of the feces, finally having to remove his shoe and throw it away. Is this a metaphor for what is to come? #Foreshadowing
Jace and Babs go to Jenelles new house and, you know what? It's nice! It's a nice house. Good for her. Ooooh the truth comes out! She is RENTING this house. Nathan is one of those high-pressure time-share reps. This explains how he got her to rent him such a nice home so quickly ... Plus she's codependent as fuck.
Babs and Jace go to Jenelles to hang out. Jenelles leopard paw tattoo sticking out of her daisy dukes makes me laugh, but not nearly as much as the I depth conversations about drugs that constantly happen around Jace. They discuss Jenelle almost dying from heroin overdose so casually. Jenelle does not take part in the conversation. It's like she's not in the room. It's really funny - and none of it is true. LOL
Kailyn is still the worst. She's house shopping prior to approval from the judge. She complains about finances and living situations, both of which are the result of her manipulative behavior. Girl, bye. I hate that people on television constantly say "real-a-tur". The word is "realtor". Kailyn is now taking her son to visit houses and telling him they can live there. #parenting How cute is Jo's son? (See what I did there? REALITY!) He's hysterical on the trampoline! Oh great--- Kailyn and Javi are making an offer on ta house in another state and they haven't even gotten court approval. Perhaps she will move and the judge will say, that's fine. Jo gets domiciliary custody. You can see him every other weekend. HAHAHA that'd make my day. I have open disdain for the whiney, manipulative, friendless victim that is Kailyn Wassherface. I do not care who knows it. To me, shees every hit as delusional as Farrah BackDoor. To go along with her half sleeve and full back, she gets a TRAMP STAMP of DISDAIN from me.
Jo is actually interacting with his son. They are playing and it's cute. Then, it's back to the Kailyn show. I refuse to recap anything regarding Kailyns "wedding" because MTV has already
Forced me to do this once. It is cruel and unusual punishment to make us watch this MEMEMEME fiasco again. More about moving or not moving. Buying a house to sell it. Wahn wahn wahn. Vute headband. Thanks for NOT wearing it on your forehead. This is not Burning Man.
Kailyn and Javi are boring me again. I like her braid. I cannot braid that way. #compliment
Chelsea is doing her moms makeup at make up school. Her friend Megan's mom and her mom are TWINS! Right down to the glasses and hair cut! Oh, lets talk about Adam! Surprisingly, it's mostly Chelsea's mom who keeps bringing him (and his NEW baby!) up and Chelsea is like SILENCE! Peasant.
Adam and his girlfriend are discussing their newborn and he takes the tender moment to get sassy about Chelsea. The didn't retain THAT much from the preschool orientation. Uh-oh! Adams girlfriend wants to go to Aubrees parent-teacher meetings. Ma'am , no. Just, no. Adam just wants a formalized visitation schedule. I think that's a good idea - for everyone. Adam really needs to stop comparing his girlfriend to Chelsea - to his girlfriends face.
Chelsea is taking the cutest child on Teen Mom, Aubree, to her first day of pre-school. It's the MILLIONTH first day of school Chelsea has filmed, so Aubree sings.
Chelsea AND Adam show up to pick Aubree up from her first day of preschool. It's nice that he made he effort. It's NOT cool that he invited her somewhere without asking Chelsea first.. AND it's Chelsea's birthday. I don't think it was to be ugly, I think it was because he's a moron.
Oh wait, Chelsea has another class to go to. Why could Aubree go with her dad while her mom goes to class? Instead, she's going to her grandmas. If they had a formal agreement he would have the right to first refusal (probably) and things like this wouldn't happen. Hmm.
Leah starts off by discussing Ali's wheelchair. Did I miss something? I thought the doctor said not to even get one until she needed it- years from now- to encourage walking? Leah is complaining about her husband having a stable job with steady work and mega pay. #NoOneRelates Momma Dawn is very emotional regarding the reality of Ali's situation. It's heartbreaking.
Corey and his wife rehash Ali's latest doctors appointment and subsequent results. Corey's wife is gorgeous! She's also well-behaved and appropriately supportive. She knows her place as step-mom and she shines in that role. I like her. STAMP OF APPROVAL!
Aleah (spelling?) is sassy as fuck. She needs a spanking. Thank God she has two dads... Or she's have twins at 16, too. Yes I know it skips a generation. Shut up.
Leah is probably selling her house and moving in order to have a handicap accessible home. I applied her forethought. Unfortunately, if she thinks she's lonely now -- moving 40 minutes away from her family will "show her the meaning of being lonely" #BACKSTREETSBACK
Leah and Corey are exchanging the twins and discussing the move, the reality of life with disability, and to be honest, Corey is in heavy denial. It's very sad. He thinks it's "nothing" and she'll grow up normally and walk down the aisle at her wedding. It's heartbreaking. I teared up.
Next week on Teen Mom2:
Jenelle is trying for a baby
Chelsea goes on vacation to Rollerskate
Jo and Kailyn make me yawn
Leah's BFF is married and moving. #Lonely
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Teen Mom: Are YOU My Daddy?
I started 3 minutes late...
Kailyn and Javi are discussing her upcoming court hearing with Jo. She thinks her temper is the only plausible issue because in either situation both men (Jo or Javi) would be sacrificing time with their child. She has a point. If she moves, Jo isnt near his son. If she can't move, Javi doesn't live near his son. Let's not lose perspective: Kailyn manufactured this situation. #nosympathy
Chelsea mentioned Adam then starts talking about starting school soon. Aubree is asking other families in the restaurant to adopt her. Chelsea feigns authority and Aubree doesn't respect her because at the tender age of 3/4 she knows Chelsea never follows through. Chelsea is pretty sure she's setting an awesome example for Aubree. You know who isn't? ADAM! Lets talk about Adam!
Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Adam and his fiancee are discussing trying to get more visitation with Aubree. Then, they discuss their forthcoming spawn. Adam reflects.
Leah and her family are going to vacation in Orlando. Leah's hair is there, too. It does not disappoint. Side note--- my hair is also currently a treat! Was Leah just dragged her child like a rag doll? God, I hope it was not the child with muscular dystrophy.
Jenelle is like "Abortion done. Next up, court case." Jace is cursing over and over. Babs threatens him with a pickle. Jenelle leaves to call her lawyer, Dustin, esq. Good news! Jenelle is free to continue couch surfing and smoking weed, because her case is continued for a few months. Dustin really can't give any real idea of repercussions because he doesn't know what they have on her. Jenelle thinks that her husband, Courtland, was the problem and he's not around (because hes in jail) so it should be smooth sailing. Remember when it was all Kieffer's fault? Then, all of her problems were because of Gary? In the words of Jace, "FUCK YOU!".
Chelsea is getting ready for her first day of school. She wakes up Aubree... or attempts to wake her up. Aubree doesn't give a shit. She thinks she can just throw a fit and get her way, because Chelsea never follows through.
Jo and Kailyn go to court. The court passed the buck to a different county. She whines about having SO much to deal with. Uhhh... other than attempting to tear a father from his son, what is she dealing with? Pregnancy? She's done that before. Wedding planning? She already made me watch her get married to Javi.
Jenelle and Barbara discuss the severity of her felony charges. Babs thinks Jenelle should get a part time job - for multiple reasons, but the only reason Jenelle heard was "to meet newguys people". Jenelles antennas perk up --- I met someone on a dating app! Babs cant believe it! "Jenelle ya MARRIED! Ya looking fa anotha guy?!" Jenelle is laughing and says that her new guy is a good guy. They've been texting for a month! Babs rightfully points out that this could be a serial killer... then for unknown reasons they both giggle. NO! Nathan can't be a murderer! He plays football! Aaron Hernandez, or no? He's an underwear model, too. "AND HE WANTS TO MEET YOU?!" -- Babs is incredulous. She advises her daughter not to cheat, at mini golf, not marriage.
Leah puts her twins in bikinis and they immediately stuff their tops with tissue. WHERE did they learn THAT? The family goes swimming. They discuss how grim the future looks for Ali.
Chelsea still hasn't left the house. Chelsea and her friend look like clones from The Chive. They want to wax each others vaginas, but they are "worried about smells". -- Thats a real quote. I didn't make that up.
Jo and his lawyer are discussing the court case with Kail. Jeez, these scenes are short and choppy! Jos lawyer has a good point: if Isaac moves to Delaware because his step-father, Javi, is stationed there, what happens when he is stationed somewhere else? Hmm... again, this all originated from Kailyn pushing Javi into the military for the benefits. JOKES ON YOU! America doesn't take care of its service members! If she REALLY wanted to man who would move out of state and have benefits and salary she SHOULD have picked an oilfield man. #truthbomb
Leah is on a ferris wheel. Momma Dawn is there, too. Oh my God, I usually give Leah more props than I'd like to regarding her ability to co-parent or cope with her childs handicap, but on this particular day... Im cringing. You know those ball pits kids play in? Or those rope ladders they put in kids playgrounds? She just put her child who has a hard enough time walking in those things, then rushed her along as she struggled, then made fun of her for crying... then grabbed her by the fore arm and swung her out of the pen. YIKES! They ride the roller coaster tougher and all troubles seem forgotten. Now, Leah is talking about Ali's grim future again. They always have these discussions in front of the children. Now, Leah is really complaining about her husband having a good job. Her complaints are those of a child.
Jenelle wants to get a pedicure, talk about her abortion, her court case, and Nathan with Tori. You remember Tori, right? They got into a huge fist fight on camera when they attempted to live together? She kicked Jenelle out. Also, they were in those naked photos together. Anyway, Jenelle is dishing out some real gems such as "I've continually been in relationships, ya know, since I was like 14. I like can't like be alone, you know? I guess itd be different if I had Jace because then he'd occupy my time and I'd be with him". Hey, Norma Bates, time with your son and time with a boyfriend are different things. If you have so much free time-- get a job ya big dumb drop out! Oh and BTW, Jenelle LIVES with Jace at this time, and she's still on the dating site looking for someone to occupy her time. Tori thinks Jenelle is replacing her need for her father or mothers love with superficial love from random "boyfriends". She's also worried about the amount of men Jenelle keeps introducing to Jace. OMG! When did Tori get a brain? I like her, right now.
Jo brings Isaac to Kailyns house. That's it. He leaves. She calls Javi to tell him what happened in court --- like she didn't text him the second she walked out of court. She and Javi complain more about the court case and I really can't force myself to care. I care as much about Kailyn in court as I do about Chelsea in school. It's been years. No one cares.
Chelsea picks up Aubree from daycare. Papa Randy comes over to hear about their first days of school. He immediately begins "yes-manning" her. She immediately starts talking about Adam. Chelsea thinks a judge will like her more than Adam because she's in schoolthis week. Chelsea thinks shes ALWAYS mature but she doesn't want to be. Uhhh... sure.
Jenelle and Nathan are playing mini golf. He wore flip flops on their first date and I officially hate him. Oh, he was a marine, just like Gary Head. Does Jenelle ever take off that Tiffany necklace from 2004? Jenelle is talking about her drugs and her ex-boyfriends. She does NOT mention her abortion last week or her husband. Nathan seems uncomfortable, but I think its because he's on camera, not because of the drugs. They have a water bottle fight.
Leah and Jeremy (her current husband) are having dinner while their parents watch the girls. Leah is discussing her daughters grim future, in detail. Now, she is complaining about her husband going back to work to pay for her fancy Florida family vacation. She wants him to quit his badass pipeline job, where he makes $5000/week, to take a lesser paying job and be home all the time. I understand wanting him to be home every night, to an extent, but really --- champagne problems in the trailer park, am I right?
Next week:
Kailyn complains about her custody situation with Jo
Jenelle introduces her son to the man she just had a first date with
Chelsea tries to flirt with Adam
Leah talks about her daughters grim future
Kailyn and Javi are discussing her upcoming court hearing with Jo. She thinks her temper is the only plausible issue because in either situation both men (Jo or Javi) would be sacrificing time with their child. She has a point. If she moves, Jo isnt near his son. If she can't move, Javi doesn't live near his son. Let's not lose perspective: Kailyn manufactured this situation. #nosympathy
Chelsea mentioned Adam then starts talking about starting school soon. Aubree is asking other families in the restaurant to adopt her. Chelsea feigns authority and Aubree doesn't respect her because at the tender age of 3/4 she knows Chelsea never follows through. Chelsea is pretty sure she's setting an awesome example for Aubree. You know who isn't? ADAM! Lets talk about Adam!
Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Adam and his fiancee are discussing trying to get more visitation with Aubree. Then, they discuss their forthcoming spawn. Adam reflects.
Leah and her family are going to vacation in Orlando. Leah's hair is there, too. It does not disappoint. Side note--- my hair is also currently a treat! Was Leah just dragged her child like a rag doll? God, I hope it was not the child with muscular dystrophy.
Jenelle is like "Abortion done. Next up, court case." Jace is cursing over and over. Babs threatens him with a pickle. Jenelle leaves to call her lawyer, Dustin, esq. Good news! Jenelle is free to continue couch surfing and smoking weed, because her case is continued for a few months. Dustin really can't give any real idea of repercussions because he doesn't know what they have on her. Jenelle thinks that her husband, Courtland, was the problem and he's not around (because hes in jail) so it should be smooth sailing. Remember when it was all Kieffer's fault? Then, all of her problems were because of Gary? In the words of Jace, "FUCK YOU!".
Chelsea is getting ready for her first day of school. She wakes up Aubree... or attempts to wake her up. Aubree doesn't give a shit. She thinks she can just throw a fit and get her way, because Chelsea never follows through.
Jo and Kailyn go to court. The court passed the buck to a different county. She whines about having SO much to deal with. Uhhh... other than attempting to tear a father from his son, what is she dealing with? Pregnancy? She's done that before. Wedding planning? She already made me watch her get married to Javi.
Jenelle and Barbara discuss the severity of her felony charges. Babs thinks Jenelle should get a part time job - for multiple reasons, but the only reason Jenelle heard was "to meet new
Leah puts her twins in bikinis and they immediately stuff their tops with tissue. WHERE did they learn THAT? The family goes swimming. They discuss how grim the future looks for Ali.
Chelsea still hasn't left the house. Chelsea and her friend look like clones from The Chive. They want to wax each others vaginas, but they are "worried about smells". -- Thats a real quote. I didn't make that up.
Jo and his lawyer are discussing the court case with Kail. Jeez, these scenes are short and choppy! Jos lawyer has a good point: if Isaac moves to Delaware because his step-father, Javi, is stationed there, what happens when he is stationed somewhere else? Hmm... again, this all originated from Kailyn pushing Javi into the military for the benefits. JOKES ON YOU! America doesn't take care of its service members! If she REALLY wanted to man who would move out of state and have benefits and salary she SHOULD have picked an oilfield man. #truthbomb
Leah is on a ferris wheel. Momma Dawn is there, too. Oh my God, I usually give Leah more props than I'd like to regarding her ability to co-parent or cope with her childs handicap, but on this particular day... Im cringing. You know those ball pits kids play in? Or those rope ladders they put in kids playgrounds? She just put her child who has a hard enough time walking in those things, then rushed her along as she struggled, then made fun of her for crying... then grabbed her by the fore arm and swung her out of the pen. YIKES! They ride the roller coaster tougher and all troubles seem forgotten. Now, Leah is talking about Ali's grim future again. They always have these discussions in front of the children. Now, Leah is really complaining about her husband having a good job. Her complaints are those of a child.
Jenelle wants to get a pedicure, talk about her abortion, her court case, and Nathan with Tori. You remember Tori, right? They got into a huge fist fight on camera when they attempted to live together? She kicked Jenelle out. Also, they were in those naked photos together. Anyway, Jenelle is dishing out some real gems such as "I've continually been in relationships, ya know, since I was like 14. I like can't like be alone, you know? I guess itd be different if I had Jace because then he'd occupy my time and I'd be with him". Hey, Norma Bates, time with your son and time with a boyfriend are different things. If you have so much free time-- get a job ya big dumb drop out! Oh and BTW, Jenelle LIVES with Jace at this time, and she's still on the dating site looking for someone to occupy her time. Tori thinks Jenelle is replacing her need for her father or mothers love with superficial love from random "boyfriends". She's also worried about the amount of men Jenelle keeps introducing to Jace. OMG! When did Tori get a brain? I like her, right now.
Jo brings Isaac to Kailyns house. That's it. He leaves. She calls Javi to tell him what happened in court --- like she didn't text him the second she walked out of court. She and Javi complain more about the court case and I really can't force myself to care. I care as much about Kailyn in court as I do about Chelsea in school. It's been years. No one cares.
Chelsea picks up Aubree from daycare. Papa Randy comes over to hear about their first days of school. He immediately begins "yes-manning" her. She immediately starts talking about Adam. Chelsea thinks a judge will like her more than Adam because she's in school
Jenelle and Nathan are playing mini golf. He wore flip flops on their first date and I officially hate him. Oh, he was a marine, just like Gary Head. Does Jenelle ever take off that Tiffany necklace from 2004? Jenelle is talking about her drugs and her ex-boyfriends. She does NOT mention her abortion last week or her husband. Nathan seems uncomfortable, but I think its because he's on camera, not because of the drugs. They have a water bottle fight.
Leah and Jeremy (her current husband) are having dinner while their parents watch the girls. Leah is discussing her daughters grim future, in detail. Now, she is complaining about her husband going back to work to pay for her fancy Florida family vacation. She wants him to quit his badass pipeline job, where he makes $5000/week, to take a lesser paying job and be home all the time. I understand wanting him to be home every night, to an extent, but really --- champagne problems in the trailer park, am I right?
Next week:
Kailyn complains about her custody situation with Jo
Jenelle introduces her son to the man she just had a first date with
Chelsea tries to flirt with Adam
Leah talks about her daughters grim future
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Teen Mom is BAAAACK!
Jenelle kicks off the show, and you immediately know the delusion has only grown!
Sunday, January 5, 2014
RHOA: A Trip Down Memory Lane
Hey, y'all! I'm sorry I've left you in the recap lurch last week, but truthfully I just couldn't be bothered with the Faux Housewives of All Those Counties. I was busy being a Real Housewife of Lafayette Parish, so the family won the war for my holiday attention.
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| A Big Homie and his TeamMates |
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